What's Wrong With Love?
by Rose Cest la V
Summary: When Kenshin left for Kyoto, Sanosuke decided to take care of Kaoru instead of following his friend. By staying, Sanosuke gets a few shocks- his developing feelings for Kaoru being one of them. Learning that Captain Sagara never died being another.
1. What's Wrong With Diplomacy?

What's Wrong With Diplomacy  
  
"If you want to go to Kyoto that much then go. Hurry up and get yourself killed," Saito sneered and turned away.  
Sanosuke glared after him, ignoring the banter exchanged between Yahiko and his friend. How dare Kenshin treat him as a weakness?! How dare he treat all his friends as weaknesses?! "That's not how it works," Sanosuke said out loud.  
"What?" Yahiko asked.  
"Friendship," Sanosuke scowled into empty space. "Kenshin called us his comrades. But he thought of us as his weaknesses so he left all three of us behind. That's not friendship. That's. . . annoying as hell. Yahiko!"  
"What?" Yahiko repeated.  
"What were you saying about Kaoru?"  
"She's a wreck," Yahiko responded promptly. "She needs help."  
Sanosuke nodded grimly and fished the money he'd just borrowed out of his jacket. "I won't be going to Kyoto. Thanks anyway," he tossed the bag back to his friend, picked up his bag, and turned on the road leading to the Kamiya Kashin dojo.  
  
The woman from the beef stew restaurant and Yahiko's friend were trying to talk Kaoru around when Sanosuke and Yahiko returned to the dojo. They were trying to be nice and get her to get on with her life gently. The poor girl had just had the person she cared about most in the world removed from her life. It wasn't the first time this had happened to her, Sanosuke knew. The girl had lost her parents and then all her students. The only decent thing to do was to politely and gently encourage her to move on, right?  
Wrong. Sanosuke knew better.  
"GET THE HELL OUT OF BED RIGHT NOW YOU UGLY, WHINING WENCH!" Sanosuke ordered. When Kaoru didn't make any attempt to carry out Sanosuke's order, Sanosuke grabbed the bottom quilt that she was laying on and yanked it out from under her.  
"Ow!" Kaoru whined.  
"Stop being such a wimp," Sanosuke snarled. "Not get up!"  
"Mr. Sanosuke," The Beef Stew Woman put a hand of Sanosuke's elbow. "I think you should be nicer to her. Someone she loved just left her-"  
"I think you should shut up and get back to your restaurant," Sanosuke told the woman.  
"Why are you being like this? Is it because we wouldn't let you borrow any money?" Tae demanded.  
Sanosuke glared at her. "Come with me. Outside. Kaoru, if you're not on your feet when I come back in, you won't like the consequences." He stalked out of the room with the waitresses at his heels. "You think Kaoru's going to get any better if you bleeding hearts keep pampering her like a lap dog?" he demanded.  
"You think she's going to get better if you treat her like dirt?" Tae asked in return.  
"I'm not treating her like dirt. I'm treating her like an annoying woman who's fallen too far into the well of self pity to simply be able to grab onto a bucket while other annoying women try to pull her out. Pulling her out by her hair is a much faster and effective way, and not only will it make her better, it will make her stronger," Sanosuke snarled. "I know what I'm doing, woman. Trust me."  
"I have no reason trust you Mr. Sanosuke. I'm sorry but-"  
"I considered Kenshin my friend. I still consider Kaoru my friend, even though she can't cook anything edible to save her life. I'm not going to sit around and watch while she wastes away. As a friend of both Kenshin and Kaoru, it's my duty to make sure that the one who Kenshin cared the most about is still around for him to come back to if he ever decides to come back." Sanosuke crossed his arms across his chest. "I can see you're not satisfied, and normally I wouldn't care. But since Kaoru's your friend too, I'll make you a deal. In five days Kaoru, Yahiko, and I will come to your restaurant, and I guarentee you, you'll hardly know anything was ever wrong with Kaoru."  
"I-"  
"Scat," Sanosuke waved a hand at Tae and her charge. "We'll see you in five days and I have a lot of work to do between now and then. Now go." He glared at the waitresses until they turned away, then looked to Yahiko. "Stop trying to spy behind those pannels and make yourself useful. Go draw a bucket of water from the well."  
  
Kaoru curled up into a ball on the floor after her visitors walked out of her room. It was too much trouble to get back into bed. Everything was too much trouble now. All Kaoru wanted was Kenshin, and by now he was long gone. Some time passed. Kaoru didn't know how much and didn't really care. Nothing mattered without Kenshin.  
Footsteps sounded on the mats, but Kaoru didn't move. Not until she found herself soaked in cold water, at least. "What?!" she demanded, looking up. Anger cut through her haze of self pity, and increased three fold when she saw Sanosuke standing over her with a bucket in one hand and a cocky smile on his face. "You jerk!" she snapped, narrowing her eyes. "What did you do that for?!"  
The smirk on Sanosuke's face grew even more annoying. "Because I felt like it."  
"You!"  
"Whatcha gonna do about it?" Sanosuke asked, raising his eyebrows at her. "Sit on the floor in that puddle of water looking ugly? You should clean it up. It's a woman's job, anyway."  
"Jerk," Kaoru crawled out of the puddle that was quickly disappearing into the woven rice mats on the floor. "Just leave me alone."  
"Why? So you can sleep your life away? I don't think so. Or have you finally realized that the world is a worse place when you show your ugly mug and you've decided to keep it hidden behind in this room forever?"  
"Leave me alone," Kaoru groaned and buried her face in her hands. "You don't know what it's like."  
"And I hope I never do. If I was as ugly as you are, I don't think I could stand it. I'd find myself a good, durable mask and never take it off."  
"You're so mean," Kaoru moaned.  
"At least I'm not ugly," was Sanosuke's next quip. Kaoru didn't respond again. She burried her face in her hands and began to sob. "Oh, yes! Cry about it, Kaoru," Sanosuke jeered. "Cry about it some more. Make your face even uglier by adding redness to your crossed eyes and bloating your skin! Cry about it!"  
"SHUT UP!" Kaoru screamed.  
"Don't stop! Cry some more!" Sanosuke was merciless. "Don't look up from your hands. Keep that ugly face burried in them where it belongs. And cry some more!"  
"You heartless fiend!" Kaoru jumped to her feet.   
"Heartless fiend?" Sanosuke asked incredulously. "Can't you come up with something better than that?"  
"You monster!" Kaoru cried. "You cruel beast."  
"Is that the best you can do? Your insults are as pathetic as your looks, Kaoru." Her tormentor rolled his eyes. "Even Yahiko can insult someone better than you, and he's just a kid. I know rocks who can think up better names to call people."   
"Bastard!" Kaoru screeched.  
"That's a little better, but it's so unoriginal," Sanosuke told her.   
"Son of a bitch!"  
"Now that insult is ridiculously over-used. Like I've been saying, be original. Call me something like-"  
"Male whore!" Kaoru shrieked.  
"That's more like it," Sanosuke smiled, "Albeit that was uncalled for. What did I ever do to be called a male whore?"  
"You threw water on me," Kaoru wrung out her hair.  
"That was justified. You were starting to smell."  
"It's been less than twenty-four hours since I last had a batch! I was not smelling!" Kaoru snapped.  
"You were smelling. You still are smelling. You need a bath." Sanosuke sighed. "How about this; I'll light the fire outside the bath house and keep it going, and you wash your ugly face and get rid of that gods awful stench? Then you can make yourself useful and cook us some breakfast. Then you need to help that aprentice of yours with his training. He's not going to get any stronger if all his teacher does is mope about like a sick dog- even if she looks like one." Sanosuke had to dodge to avoid being hit by a flying shoe. "That was uncalled for as well. Not only are you ugly, you're also rude."  
"I'M rude?!" Kaoru demanded.  
"And ugly. Don't forget ugly," Sanosuke reminded her.  
Kaoru attacked. She didn't have a sword, but somewhere along the line she'd learned how to punch correctly. Sanosuke didn't bother blocking her attacks. She was nowhere near as strong as he was and therefore couldn't really hurt him. Plus, she needed someone to beat up on right not. Sanosuke didn't mind being her punching bag for awhile if she needed someone to take out her anger on. She was a friend, and she needed help.  
"Ah!" Sanosuke gasped as Kaoru landed a punch on his injured shoulder. After reopening that would in his squirmish with Saito, the stab wound hurt like hell. Sanosuke's eyes actually dimmed when Kaoru hit it a second time. Another punch to his stomach, then Kaoru punched him in his injured shoulder again. The woman punched hard! "That's enough now, Kaoru," Sanosuke stepped back. "We're getting blood all over your mats."  
"What?" Kaoru came out of her fit and stared. Blood had splattered from Sanosuke's wound whenever she punched it, spraying it onto both their faces, staining Kaoru's hands, and dripping onto the mats beneath them. "Oh my. . ." Kaoru put one hand over her mouth without thinking. As soon as she realized that she was getting Sanosuke's blood all over her lips, she jerked her hand away. "I'm sorry Sanosuke. I'm so sorry. . ."  
"You didn't do anything, save give your mats an unnecessary paint job. But now you really need to get a bath. Come on." When Kaoru didn't move, Sanosuke reached out to grab her and pull her behind him. Unexpectedly, Kaoru put her hand in his. He blinked at this, but mentally shrugged it off quickly. "You need to wash your hands at the well first. Then you need to get clean clothes to change into after you bath, so you won't have to walk sky clad back to your room."  
"There are robes in the bathroom," Kaoru told him. "You need that wound checked and cleaned, though."  
"No, I don't. You need to get a bath," Sanosuke led Kaoru to the Kamiya Dojo's bath house. "Go on inside. The water's clean- I just had Yahiko fill it. I'll see to the fire so that it will be warm." Sanosuke was mildly suprised that Kaoru did as she was told, then realized that she was probably obeying him because she felt guilty about making him bleed. She hadn't really hurt him- Sanosuke doubted than any women were capable of hurting him. They were capable of annoying him though, and Sanosuke had the feeling that before he was able to get Kaoru back to normal, she was going to annoy the hell out of him.  
  
"Sanosuke!" Yahiko's eyes widened as he saw the amount of blood on Sanosuke.  
"The little lady punches harder than I gaver her credit for," Sanosuke managed a laugh. It sounded fake, but he didn't laugh often enough for Yahiko to know that it was fake. "I see you've started the fire already," Sanosuke changed the subject.   
"Yeah," Yahiko carefully placed another log onto the fire. "Kaoru hasn't been looking too good ever since Kenshin left. If making sure her bath is warm is the only thing I can do to make her feel better, then I'll gladly do it."  
"Don't be like that," Sanosuke said sharply.  
"Huh?"  
"Right now the worst thing we can do for Kaoru is to be nice and sympathetic to her. She'll never get better if we continue to let her drown in self pity and pamper her. Right now angering her will give her more strength than being kind and caring to her. Make her mad, Yahiko. Make her scream in anger and act like her old annoying self. Once her anger kills her self pity, then we can begin to encourage her. Understand?"  
"Yeah. I guess," Yahiko scratched his head.   
"Keep the fire going for Kaoru. I need to wash this blood off me."  
  
Kaoru felt terrible. Sanosuke hadn't deserved the pummeling she gave him no matter how annoying the stupid oaf was. There had been so much blood on both of them. Had Sanosuke had any blood on his jacket before she'd begun to hit him? Kaoru couldn't remember. Had she single handedly reopened the wound that could have killed him?  
The water in the bath was warm, as though the fire had been heating the water for awhile, but Kaoru didn't allow herself the luxary of enjoying it. She felt too terrible about everything. Kenshin was gone, maybe forever. If he turned into the Battosai again, she was sure that he'd be lost to her forever. And Sanosuke was injured, and she hadn't helped him in the least by making him bleed. Hadn't the former fighter-for-hire lost enough blood in the past few days?  
"Everything's so messed up," Kaoru sighed as she climbed out of the tub and pulled a robe out of one of the cupboards. She put it on without bothering to dry herself, tied it quickly, and left the bathroom. "I'm finished," she announced, looking around for Sanosuke. "Why don't you get a bath now? The water's clean enough-"  
"I don't need a bath," Yahiko told her.  
"Where's Sanosuke? I was trying to talk to him," Kaoru said.  
"He went to the well to wash up. But he said it wasn't his blood that he needed to wash off- it was your cooties," Yahiko told her. "I can sympathize with him you know-"  
"Shut up, you insubordinate little brat!" Kaoru snapped, turning toward the well. Sanosuke wasn't there, but he had left his jacket on the ground beside the well. It was badly stained, and it would be hard work to get the blood out, but it was possible. Kaoru picked it up and folded it over her arm, then went to look for Sanosuke again.  
She found him in her room, scrubbing his blood off of her mats. He'd bandaged his injured shoulder.  
"Sanosuke?"  
Sanosuke started, then jumped to his feet, trying to hide the piece of bandage he was using as a rag behind his back. "Now what? Shouldn't you be cooking breakfast, woman?" he demanded.  
"It's almost noon time!" Kaoru snapped. "And why do you always come here expecting to be fed, you pig?!"  
"Pig now, is it?" Sanosuke asked. "That's an insult used by six-year-olds with vocabularies limited to about two hundred words. And the first meal of the day is called breakfast. It's not my fault that you were so lazy that you refused to get out of bed and get your work done. Now go cook something before you get any more behind schedule!"  
"I don't take orders from you!" Kaoru snapped. "And I'm not hungry!" Just then her stomach growled.  
"Not hungry, huh?" Sanosuke sneered. "Yeah. And I'm a cat."  
"No, you're a cow!"  
"You have advancted to seven-year-old insults," Sanosuke clapped his hands, mockingly applauding her. His eyes widened suddenly. "But do you know what a cow is?"  
Kaoru's face turned red with anger. "Of course I know what a cow is!"  
"Then spout it out right now," Sanosuke ordered.  
"Huh? Uh. . ."  
"Don't even know what a cow is," Sanosuke said with a smug grin.  
"Takes one to know one," Kaoru shot back.  
"Not bad," her tormentor said with what sounded like approval. "Now go cook breakfast."  
"How many times do I have to tell you?! I don't take orders from you!" Kaoru screamed.  
"Then don't cook," Sanosuke shrugged. And winced. The movement must have stretched the skin around his wound. He didn't make his wince obvious- in fact Kaoru doubted she would have noticed that Sanosuke was in pain if she hadn't known what to look for. But she had. And maybe it was her fault that Sanosuke was in pain. Maybe she had delayed his healing by reopening his wound. The least she could do to make up for that was to make sure that Sanosuke had a few healthy, if not tasty meals under his belt so that his strength returned.  
"I'm doing it because I want to, not because you told me to," Kaoru said defiantly, turning away.  
  
After Kaoru served a lunch to her two friends that Sanosuke was sure was some sort of poison, Kaoru began to lapse back into depression. Sanosuke was not about to stand for that though. By teasing her, jeering at her, and blatantly insulting her, he was able to get Kaoru to train with Yahiko, weed her garden, and throw rocks at him. Then it was time for her to cook dinner.   
Ever after, Sanosuke would shudder at the thought of that dinner. It was Kaoru's way of getting revenge on him for all he had done to annoy her that day, with enough left to carry over what he did to her that night.  
Sanosuke pretended to leave, but snuck back into the dojo after Kaoru went to bed. He waited until he heard her start to sob softly in her room, then quickly left to find half a dozen stray cats. He put them in a crate and moved the crate onto the roof of Kaoru's room. The sounds of the cat fight drifted down to her and interrupted her crying. It went on and on for half the night, making Kaoru angrier and angrier until she'd finally had enough.  
"Damn cats!" she screamed, charging out of her room, wooden sword in hand. Sanosuke grabbed the crate of cats and lept onto the wall surrounding the dojo, then over it, into the street below, where he got a surprise.   
"Aoshi," Sanosuke hissed, tossing the crate of cats. It shattered and the cats escaped. "What are you doing, creeping around here in the middle of the night?"  
"I could ask you the same question," Aoshi reguarded Sanosuke coolly. "After all, perhaps I am just walking casually to a tavern. You, on the other hand, are scaleing walls with a crate full of alley cats. Which one of us is really more suspicious?"  
Sanosuke gave a cold laugh. "The cats were to keep Kaoru, assistant master of this school, awake and angry. The reasons that I want her to be that way are confidential. I suppose your reasons for prowling around this school are confidential as well?"  
"I have been waiting for the Battosai," Aoshi stated. "Where is he?"  
"At the moment? I have no idea," Sanosuke leaned against the wall. "But if you're looking for him, you're wasting your time hanging around here. He left- he left Kaoru miserable. We do not know when he's coming back, if he ever is."  
Aoshi's eyes narrowed. "Where has he gone?"  
"To knock off some guy named Shishio for the government," Sanosuke spat on the ground. "Damn the government. You want to know what the problem with the government is? Those damn government officials!"  
"Your qualms against the government are not my problem," Aoshi told the ex-fighter-for-hire. "What I want to know is where the Battosai is going."  
"So you can challenge him?" Sanosuke crossed his arms. "Don't answer that, I already know the answer. Have you ever heard of this Shishio guy?"  
"I have," Aoshi glared at Sanosuke.  
"You like him?"  
"Mere words cannot express the extent of my dislike for him. However, it is the Battosai that I want to challenge, not his successor."  
"You think the world would be a better place if Shishio bit the dust?"  
"Tell me where the Battosai is, or I will kill you," Aoshi said softly.  
"I already told you, at the moment, I have no idea where he is. Eventually, he will be in Kyoto. You could probably catch up to him on the road if you hurried. He's got more than twenty-four hours on you," Sanosuke sighed. "However, even if you don't want to challenge Shishio, you might as well do it while you're in Kyoto- if you want the title of the best, that is. Some people have been saying that Shishio's stronger than Kenshin. Wouldn't it suck to beat Kenshin only to discover that he was no longer thought of as the most powerful? You'd have to go kill another guy as well."  
"You're trying to recruit me to help the Battosai in his crusade against his successor?" Aoshi sounded amused.  
"Of course not," Sanosuke put his hands behind his head. "You're going to do whatever you want no matter what I say." Kaoru's angry curses at the cats made him wince. "I'm getting out of here before that crazy broad comes outside the wall. See you around, Aoshi- and good hunting."  
Aoshi didn't respond. Sanosuke didn't need to turn around to know that he was gone. He continued walking until another familiar figure materialized in front of him, out of the shadows.  
"Saito," Sanosuke scowled. "What do you want? I trust it's no coincidence that you're out here tonight?"  
"It's not," Saito agreed. "I took an interest in the man who was stalking around the Kamiya Kashin Dojo, young fledgling. I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."  
"Bet you could," Sanosuke scoffed.  
"And for once you would win money for that," Saito agreed.   
"So what do you want? I'm not going to Kyoto so there's no point in fighting me again."  
"In beating you again, you mean," Saito corrected. Sanosuke glared but didn't speak, so Saito continued. "I've seen what you've been doing to Himura's woman. Why?"  
"Why what? Why am I doing what I am? Because she's my friend, and Kenshin's my friend, and I'm making sure that when Kenshin comes back, Kaoru will still be here for him to come back to."  
"So you harrass her and keep her angry every waking hour?"  
"Better she's angry and bitching than sad and sobbing," Sanosuke responded. "Do you really have anything to say to me, or can I leave? I'm tired. You don't know how straining it is on the mind to keep that woman angry."  
"I suppose it can be stressing on the body as well," Saito commented. "She made you bleed an awful lot, Sanosuke Sagara."  
Normally this conversation would be making Sanosuke furious. Right now he was too tired to care too much. "If I'm successful, she'll make me bleed even more tomorrow," he said, smothering a yawn in his hand.   
"Then you had better get your rest, fledgling," Saito didn't quite sneer at Sanosuke. "One thing that I can commend you on, though, is your diplomacy."  
"I hate diplomacy," Sanosuke wasn't really thinking as he spoke. "You know what's wrong with diplomacy? Diplomats!"  
"I think that you may have convinced Aoshi to join the fight against Shishio. If not, he's not too far from being convinced. If so, you've done Himura quite a service."  
"What are friends for?" Sanosuke fought against another yawn. "May I leave without being beaten for insolence? Or do you have anything else to say?"  
"Fly back to your nest, fledgling," Saito turned away. "Careful not to fall from the sky on your way there."  
"I won't. And next time you come around here we'll have to fight again. I'll have gotten in enough training by then to catch up with you guys who were old enough to take a real stand during the revolution."  
"Of course, fledgling." 


	2. What's Wrong With Poetry?

What's Wrong With Poetry  
  
Kaoru was awake before Sanosuke got back to the dojo the next day, sobbing her eyes out. Yahiko watched on, a mournful expression on his face.  
Sanosuke was annoyed. He'd intended to get back to the Kamiya Dojo before Kaoru woke up and could start bawling again. That would have made his day's work easier. Now he was going to have to get her out of her despondency again. "Woman? You're still at this? I thought you got over this silly crying fit yesterday!"  
"I didn't!" Kaoru shook her head spraying tears everywhere. "Kenshin is still gone, isn't he?! I'll never get over him until he comes back to me!"  
"That's just stupid," Sanosuke knelt down beside Kaoru. "If you keep this up then by the time Kenshin comes back you'll have premature wrinkles, sagging skin, and bad teeth. That's what crying does to you, you know."  
"No it doesn't!" Kaoru slapped at Sanosuke.  
He caught her hand. "Of course it does. That's the only way to explain how you gotten so much uglier since the last time I saw you. You stayed up crying like a baby, didn't you?"  
"No I didn't," Kaoru's anger cut through her misery at the meamory of the fighting cats from the night before.   
"What did you do then? Eat some more of your nasty cooking? That'll strip the years away from you too, you know. You're a really lousy cook."  
"What are you complaining for?! You get to eat here free and you're not even one of my students!"  
"I wouldn't want to be. Yahiko's not getting any training. He's going to end up picking pockets again if you don't give him some real training."  
""He is not!" Kaoru jumped to her feet at that remark. "The only good thing about not having lots of students is that I can focus my attention on the few that I have! Yahiko has made more progress than any of my other students ever have!"  
"He won't continue to if you don't teach him," Sanosuke remained seated. "Are you going to let him fall back to the last level he was at while you weep your life away?"  
"I'm not weeping my life away!" Kaoru proclaimed indignantly.  
"Funny. When I came in it looked like that was exactly what you were doing," Sanosuke remarked.  
"I was just about to get up and give him some pre-breakfast training! Then you came in here and got me talking!" Kaoru stormed over to a chest where she kept her training clothes. "Now get out while I change!"  
"Then you'll teach Yahiko?" Sanosuke asked.  
"Yes!"  
"Just don't teach him to cook," Sanosuke advised.  
  
Kaoru was kept raving mad all day that day, as well as all of the next. Sanosuke and Yahiko made sure that she had absolutely no opportunities to cry and sink into self pity. When Sanosuke arrived on the fourth day, Kaoru was already up and cooking breakfast. Kaoru was getting better, Sanosuke decided, since she'd had free time for herself and hadn't spent it crying over Kenshin. Now he could afford to be a little nicer to her, and encourage her, without having to worry about indulging her with pity.  
"You're not looking quite so ugly this morning, Kaoru," he said, making her jump. She hadn't heard him come up behind her. "Though I'm sure that whatever you're cooking will be just as disgusting as usual."  
"Jerk," Kaoru scowled at him.  
"I've never denied being a jerk," Sanosuke sat beside her. "Where's the kid?"  
"Yahiko's weeding the garden. The eggplants are being over-run by weeds."  
"I see."  
"I miss him, Sanosuke," Kaoru said suddenly.  
"Why? He's only weeding the garden. Surely you can stand to be parted from your favorite student for an hour-"  
"Not Yahiko! Kenshin!" Kaoru threw a punch at Sanosuke. "I miss him."  
Sanosuke blocked Kaoru's punch with his open palm. "It's understandable that you miss him, Kaoru. I'm sure that Kenshin misses you too. It's alright to miss someone- I've lost so many people that I've cared about, so I should know. What's wrong is when you think that you can't go on without someone. There is no one in the world that you can't go on without."  
"That's not true," Kaoru argued. "When you love someone and they leave you, they're all you can think about! Without them with you, you know that nothing will ever be right again!"  
"And I've never loved anyone, so I wouldn't know," Sanosuke said coldly, perhaps sarcastically. "I do know this, though: It's because you did love the one who left you that you do go on, Kaoru. If someone really loves you, they wouldn't want you sobbing away the rest of your life because they're gone. And just because they're gone doesn't mean that nothing will ever be right again. You keep on going so that someday everything will be alright."  
Kaoru sniffled. "I never took you for a poet, Sanosuke."  
"I'm not a poet," Sanosuke looked down at the hand he'd used to block Kaoru's punch, still open, palm facing Kaoru, fingers pointed skyward. Kaoru had not withdrawn her punch and her knuckles still rested against his palm. "In fact I hate poetry. You know what's wrong with poetry? Poets."  
That made Kaoru smile. Her first smile since Kenshin had left. And she still hadn't moved her fist out of Sanosuke's palm. Kaoru looked into Sanosuke's dark eyes with her crystal blue ones, and for the first time Sanosuke could understand why Kenshin had loved Kaoru. She wasn't just beautiful. There was something more behind her eyes that only showed when she stared directly into yours. . .  
"Kaoru?" Sanosuke asked, not sure what he wanted to say.   
"Yes?"  
"Uh. . . You're burning our breakfast!"  
"What?!" Kaoru jerked her hand away from his as if Sanosuke's palm was a hot iron. "Oh no!" she wailed, grabbing two towels and pulling her pan off of the fire.  
Sanosuke slowly closed the hand that he'd caught Kaoru's in, then opened it and rubbed it onto his pants leg. What was that all about? he wondered as he stood up. "Shall I get Yahiko and let him know that breakfast is served?"  
"Yes," Kaoru frantically waved a hand over the burning. . . whatever it was that she'd been cooking. "Sanosuke!" she called as her companion started to leave, "Just make sure to tell Yahiko that breakfast is singed!"  
She made a joke, Sanosuke smiled. Not a very good one, but a joke nonetheless. At the expense of our breakfast, but oh well. There are worse things than eating Kaoru's burnt cooking. Like eating Kaoru's unburnt cooking.  
  
The next day Sanosuke treated Kaoru and Yahiko to lunch at the beef stew restaurant. He'd gotten lucky and won money at the dice the night before before, so he could afford to pay for once. Tae was satisfied that Kaoru was getting better, and as the three from the Kamiya Dojo began to leave, the three Democratic Crusaders entered.  
"Nah ah," Sanosuke told them. "Turn right back around and leave. Now." He cracked his knuckles and the three Cowardly Democratic Crusaders ran out of the restaurant as fast as their drunk legs could carry them.  
"Sanosuke, they didn't do anything this time," Kaoru protested.  
"Yet," Sanosuke pointed out. "Besides, their fear of me is a healthy thing. If more people were afraid of me, then I wouldn't have to beat up so many people."  
"Sanosuke," Kaoru said, shaking her head.  
"Hey! Kaoru, look at this!" Yahiko called, pointing to a poster on a lamp post. "There's a kendo and karate tournament! Can we enter?"  
"A tournament? Let me see!" Kaoru flew over to look at the poster Yahiko had seen with her old enthusiasm. "Attention all kendo and karate schools, the Miyamaru Dojo is sponsoring a tournament. Divisions are open for children eleven and under, youths ages twelve to nineteen, and adults, ages twenty and over, for the events of katas, weapon forms, weapon sparring, and open hand sparring. All martial arts schools are welcome to attend provided that three or more students compete. No schoolless competitors allow. Damn it!"  
"It says that?" Sanosuke asked coming over.  
"What are you cursing for, Kaoru?" Yahiko asked.  
"Because we don't have enough people to compete!" Kaoru kicked the lamp post. "We'd need another student to be able to attend! Isn't this just wonderful? We have the chance to show the city how great the Kamiya Kashin style is and attract more students, but we don't have enough students to compete!"   
"Oh. Damn," Yahiko spat. "Damn. Damn."  
Sanosuke moved to stand beside Kaoru and read the poster. "You want to compete in this tournament?"  
"Obviously!" Kaoru kicked the lamp post again.  
"But you need someone else to compete for your school," Sanosuke stared at the poster.  
"You don't have to rub it in!" Kaoru screamed, kicking the lamp post once more, then turning to kick Sanosuke in the shins.  
"Stop that. You're being annoying again."  
"I'M being annoying?" Kaoru screamed, getting in Sanosuke's face. "I'M being annoying?! You're the one who-"  
"I'll compete with you," Sanosuke offered.  
"-is being such a. . . WHAT?!" Kaoru grabbed the front of Sanosuke's jacket.  
"I'll compete with you and the punk kid. That will make three of us and we can compete."  
"But you don't study the Kamiya Kashin style," Kaoru protested.  
"Do you think any of them really know or care? Besides, I spend so much time at your school I practically live there. No one will really be able to dispute me fighting for you- and if they do, they'll regret it," Sanosuke grinned and cracked his knuckles.  
"You really mean it? You'll compete for the Kamiya Dojo with us?" Kaoru tugged on Sanosuke's jacket harder. "You'd do that for us?"  
"Not for you," Sanosuke smirked. "I just want an excuse to beat people up. Maybe there'll actually be some strong people there I can pound on."  
"Thank you Sanosuke!" Kaoru suddenly lept up and hugged Sanosuke. "Thank you! Thank you!"  
"Gak! Hey, stop that! Get down! I mean it!" Sanosuke tried to back away from Kaoru but ended up backing into the light post. "Kaoru, get off me already!" Sanosuke tried to pry Kaoru's hands away from the back of his neck.  
"You two might not know this, but what you're doing doesn't look good," Yahiko teased. "People are looking at you two strangely. Next they'll be telling you to get a room."  
Kaoru released Sanosuke and jumped back quickly. "Sorry Sanosuke. I just got excited." She blushed. "I didn't mean to get emotional on you."  
"Women," Sanosuke put as much scorn into the word as he could- which he was afraid wasn't much. He was distracted because he was hoping that he wasn't blushing. "Crazy, dangerous creatures. And ugly too."  
"Hey! That was an appology I just gave you!" Kaoru roared, getting in his face once more. "You don't have to be rude about it!"  
"There is a fine line between being rude and being honest," Sanosuke patted Kaoru on the shoulder, "But I was being honest."  
"You!"  
Sanosuke had to duck Kaoru's punch. "I certainly hope you're entering in the open hand sparring division, Missy." He jumped back again. "You're sure to clean house in your division."  
Kaoru stopped punching. "My division? Or our division? I'm not entering any of the same events as you, you know."  
"How old are you?" Sanosuke asked.  
"Seventeen," Kaoru responded promptly. "And you?"  
"I think I'm around nineteen," Sanosuke told her.  
"You think? What do you mean 'you think'?" Kaoru asked.  
"Yeah, shouldn't you know how old you are, Sanosuke?" Yahiko wanted to know.  
Sanosuke gave an apathetic shrug.   
"Well when's your birthday?" Kaoru inquired.  
"I don't know. Am I supposed to remember? I was a newborn on that day."  
"Didn't your parents ever tell you?" Yahiko asked.  
Sanosuke frowned. "I barely remember my mother and I don't remember my father at all, but that's not the point. I think I'm close to nineteen, but for now I'll be close to twenty. That way we can have one person representing our school in each age category and I won't have to worry about Kaoru beating me up."  
"You're not worried about me beating you up, you oaf!" Kaoru snapped, punching at Sanosuke again.   
"Says you," Sanosuke shuddered as he caught her hand. "I still haven't gotten all the blood out of my spare jacket from the last time you made me bleed."  
"Oh. Sorry about that," Kaoru blushed again.  
"Don't worry about it," Sanosuke told her. "Let's go back to your place and start training for the tournament." 


	3. What's Wrong With Sanosuke?

What's Wrong With Sanosuke  
  
They had a little less than a month to train for the tournament. Life at the Kamiya Dojo took on a pattern of sorts. Kaoru and Yahiko would get up early and train in swordsmanship before breakfast. Sanosuke joined them for breakfast then helped them with the chores: weeding, sweeping, etc. . . After the chores were finished, Sanosuke taught Yahiko the finer points of fist fighting, though Kaoru insisted that they call it open hand fighting. Kaoru got a break until lunch to do whatever she felt like doing. Most of the time she trained herself or meditated, but sometimes she stuck around to watch Sanosuke and Yahiko. After lunch, Sanosuke would disappear for while. At first Kaoru suspected that he went off alone to train himself. After she heard rumors that a path of splintered trees had been blazed through the forest, all the way to the mountains, Kaoru knew that's what Sanosuke did. He'd come back around supper time, soaked in sweat, looking pale enough to make Kaoru worry about him, but she never said anything about it. She doubted that Sanosuke would appreciate her criticizing his personal way of training. After dinner they usually didn't train anymore. Yahiko was always tired from working out with both Kaoru and Sanosuke, and Sanosuke always looked half sick. Sometimes they went for walks in the woods and sometimes Dr. Gensai and his grandaughters would come over. One night Yahiko taught Sanosuke and Kaoru how to pick pockets- not so that they could rob people, just because Sanosuke wanted to know how it was done. Kaoru tried to teach them how to juggle, but Yahiko failed miserably at it, and Sanosuke had absolutely no interest in learning, but must have felt like he was required to teach something since the other two competitors for the Kamiya Dojo had tried to teach him. So he tried to teach them how to gamble, but Kaoru wouldn't stand for any games involving spare change in her dojo. Instead he taught them how to balance knives on their finger tips by the points, then how to throw them.  
Kaoru was so busy training for the tournament with Yahiko and Sanosuke that she hardly had time to breathe, let alone dwell on Kenshin too much. She did think of him sometimes. Kaoru couldn't help it. She missed him. At times she was mad at him for leaving her, and at other times she just wished that he would come home. She wondered if he ever would. If Kenshin turned into the Battosai again, would he want to come back? Even if he didn't become the Battosai once more, would he go wandering again instead of returning to the dojo? And there was always the posibility that Kenshin could be killed, though Kaoru tried not to think of that one at all. The only way Kaoru knew how to hold herself together was to believe that Kenshin would come back to her.  
She suspected, however, that if she hadn't been able to keep herself sane, Sanosuke would have found a way to for her. It had taken her some time to realize why after she started acting like herself again, Sanosuke had started being so much nicer to her, instead of being nice to her while she made herself an invalid. Kaoru was grateful to him- how long might she have wallowed in self pity if he hadn't pulled her out by her throat? But she was troubled by Sanosuke.  
The fighter-for-hire had always puzzled her. Her first impression of him had been that he was a tough guy with a good heart. Then she had thought that he was a cheap tought guy with a good heart. After Sanosuke had challenged Kenshin she had started thinking of him as a jerk, then after he joined the Kamiya 'family' she thought he was a nice guy, but cool and distant. Now she was being forced to revise her opinion of Sanosuke Sagara once again, though she didn't know what to think of him anymore. She supposed that she was starting to think of Sanosuke as a panther kitten- young compared to Kenshin and the revolutionary fighters, but showing promise of becoming a great fighter in his own way, though Kaoru doubted Sanosuke would ever be able to hold a candle to the tigers that Kenshin and the revolutionary survivors had grown into. Not that he needed to be more than a panther to survive in the Meiji era, though, as long as Kenshin didn't attract the other tigers to him anymore. And just like a young panther, Sanosuke had that adorable look of an animal that was sweet but lively, until you vexed him and forced him to show his claws.  
Kaoru bit her lip. What was she thinking? Sanosuke? Adorable? At one time she would have thought that those two words could never be in the same sentence unless there was a second noun for adorable to describe. But now. . ?  
"Are you alright?" Sanosuke asked suddenly.  
"W-what?" Kaoru glanced up, eyes wide.  
"You were just sitting there watching me teach Yahiko to fist fi- to open hand fight, and when we walked over here to get a drink you continued to stare at the space where we had been. Are you alright?" Sanosuke sat down beside her.  
"I'm fine," she told him, staring up at him. It was a terribly hot day. Sanosuke rarely allowed Yahiko a break when they trained together, but since it was so hot this day, Kaoru guessed that Sanosuke had made an exception.   
"Water's never tasted so good before," Yahiko commented, sitting down on the other side of Kaoru and leaning against her. He had drawn a bucket of water from the well and was drinking it as fast as he could swallow.  
"Careful, or you'll make yourself sick," Sanosuke warned.  
"I know, I know." Yahiko stopped drinking and dumped the rest of the water over his head.  
"Yahiko! You're being rude. You should have offered Sanosuke a drink!" Kaoru scolded her aprentice.  
"It's okay," Sanosuke smiled. "I'm not thirsty."  
"Liar."  
"Okay," Sanosuke's smile broadened, "I am thirsty, but I don't want to drink right now and would have refused the offer." He'd taken off his surcoat an hour or so ago. The bandages remained around his stomach, hiding the abs that Kaoru knew had to be perfect. The muscles of his chest and shoulders were perfectly visible, though, and shining with sweat. A lot of sweat. Kaoru had never seen Kenshin sweat that much, just like she'd never seen many of Kenshin's muscles. A swordsman as great as Kenshin had to have them, she knew, but for some reason she didn't associate Kenshin with muscles. Sanosuke was the one she always associated with muscles and sweat. Kaoru had once thought that guys who sweated as much as Sanosuke was sweating now were disgusting, but Sanosuke didn't seem unattractive even though he was dripping sweat.  
"It's hot today," Kaoru said, because she couldn't think of anything else do say.  
"That is so," Sanosuke agreed.  
"Hot enough to be dangerous," Kaoru said. "I remember when my father was teaching at this school, he wouldn't let the students work too hard because he was afraid they would collapse from the heat. He used to say that even the strongest of us can only challenge the heat so much." Kaoru shifted slightly on the bench. Her flowing sleeve touched Sanosuke's bare arm. "You'll come back here tonight for dinner, won't you?" she asked Sanosuke.  
"I always come back here for dinner, silly woman," he answered, shifting as well so that his upper arm touched her shoulder lightly. "Where else can I get free food?"  
Kaoru tried to scowl, but it died in the face of Sanosuke's charming smile. She wondered when she started to think of Sanosuke as charming. "You," she huffed, and shook her head. "You're terrible."  
"I know."   
"You don't know as much as you think you do, Zanza," she teased, using his old nick-name.  
"It's been awhile since I've been called that," Sanosuke stood and stretched. "Alright urchin, enough lazing around!" he addressed Yahiko. "Back to work!"  
  
Sanosuke did not come back for dinner that night. The only thing that Kaoru actually cooked was rice. It was too hot to cook anything else. The cucumbers had started coming out of the garden so Kaoru had picked those and cut them into long strips. Cold sea weed salad, pickled plums, and cold tofu was what would make up the rest of their meal. But Sanosuke didn't come.  
Kaoru made Yahiko wait nearly an hour, before finally allowing him to eat. She tried to eat some too, telling herself that Sanosuke had just gotten delayed, and that he'd be back any minute now. But after Yahiko finished eating Sanosuke still wasn't back yet.  
"I don't think anything's really wrong with Sano, Kaoru," Yahiko told her. "He's probably locked in a prolonged game of dice with a couple of his friends."  
"Do you really think that Yahiko?" Kaoru asked her student.  
Yahiko stared at Kaoru for a moment then looked away. "No. I don't. Sanosuke said he was coming back for dinner. If he says he's going to do something, you can bet he will. If he doesn't. . . He's never not done something he's said he was going to do before- unless it's a death threat he issued."  
Kaoru jumped to her feet. "Get two water skins and fill them with well water, Yahiko and meet me by the door." Kaoru ran to the porch where Sanosuke's dinner was still set out, along with the extra food. She picked up the jar of pickled plums and some cucumber slices, wrapped them in a napkin, then ran toward the door. "Hurry up, Yahiko!" she called.  
"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Yahiko appeared with his kendo stick on his back, two water skins in one hand and one of Kaoru's wooden swords in the other.  
"What are you bringing the swords for?!" Kaoru demanded.  
"It's getting late," Yahiko opened the door. "If something's wrong with Sano and we have to drag him back here, he's not going to be able to fight if someone wants to take advantage of an invalid, a girl, and a kid."  
"True," Kaoru took her sword from Yahiko. "Alright, let's go."  
"Do you have any idea where to find Sanosuke?" Yahiko asked as they jogged through the streets.  
"The woods. Near where they're constructing the new road. Don't talk, just hurry." Thankfully it was getting cooler as the sun set. Kaoru still found it hard to breath though. Her worry was choking her and her heart seemed to beat in time with the pounding of her feet on the street. If something was seriously wrong with Sanosuke she didn't know what she'd do. She didn't know what she could do. When Kenshin was around it had been different. Kenshin was strong enough to carry Sanosuke to shelter or safety. Kaoru and Yahiko would be able to drag him if need be, but she didn't want to resort to that. When Kenshin was around he looked out for everyone, whether they needed to be looked out for or not. He wasn't obvious about it, of course, but Kaoru always knew he was ready to step in if anyone tried to harm his friends. Even with Kenshin gone, Kaoru had always known that she had Sanosuke to look after her and Yahiko. He was strong enough to protet them from everyone except the revolution fanatic warriors. If something had happened to Sanosuke, she and Yahiko would be all alone. If something had happened to Sanosuke. . . If something had happened to Sanosuke. . . Kaoru couldn't afford to think about that now. "This way," she told Yahiko, turning onto the street leading out of the city. They ran until they reached the forest then slowed down.  
"How are we going to find him?" Yahiko asked.  
"I don't know," Kaoru admitted. "Praying to the gods and guessing, I suppose."  
"Let's hope the gods are listening," Yahiko looked around. "I don't think that guessing will get us anywhere."  
"Sanosuke," Kaoru whispered. "Where are you?"  
"Perhaps if we were to call him?" Yahiko asked.  
"Good idea. SANOSUKE!"   
"SANOSUKE!!!" Yahiko echoed. They began walking up the mountain side. "SANO!!! SANO!!!"  
"SANOSUKE!!!" Between each shout they stopped to listen before calling again. "SANOSUKE!!!" They walked for a long time, calling their friend's name. "Sanosuke!" Kaoru gasped. Sanosuke stood before them surrounded and ensnared by a multitude of thick strings. Iron weights had been tied to strings then looped over his shoulders so they hung on either side of him.   
"Kumo?" Yahiko asked fearfully, looking around.   
"Kumo? You mean spider demons? I don't think so," Kaoru ran forward. "These cables are tied to the trees with one end and Sanosuke with the other. A human did this deliberately. And I think that human was probably Sanosuke himself."  
"Why the hell would Sano tie himself up like this?!" Yahiko demanded, joining Kaoru in front of the snarl of ropes.  
"To train," Kaoru placed a hand on a rope and pushed down, obviously putting a great deal of strength behind it. The rope bent, but only a little. "Every time he tries to move he fights against the ropes," she told Yahiko. "They're made of something that stretches, I don't know what, but he has to fight against it to throw every punch and take every step. It seems like an intense way of training, and I think Sanosuke took it a little too far." Through their whole conversation Sanosuke hadn't so much as lifted his head. "The heat and the intensity of the training got to be too much for Sano. I think he passed out before he realized he was in trouble. We need to get him out of there now, and we need to get some water in him." She put down her bundle and sword and began climbing over and ducking under the cables to get to Sanosuke. Yahiko followed with the water skins.  
"Mmnnh" Sanosuke gave a muted groan as Kaoru reached him. She thought he saw his eyes flutter, but couldn't be sure.   
"Give me the water skins, Yahiko, and start untying the ropes on his feet and legs." Yahiko obeyed and Kaoru stood on tip toes while she uncorked the water skin. "There's no sweat on him. That's a bad sign." Kaoru tilted Sanosuke's head back and put the water bottle in his mouth, pouring the water in. "Sanosuke you fool, you better be okay!" She poured some water over his head, then made him drink some more before putting the bottles down and helping Yahiko with the ropes.  
"Ka-" Sanosuke's eyes opened a crack. "Ka. . . Kaoru."  
"Hush," Kaoru told him, picking up the water bottle and holding it to his lips once more. "Drink. Small sips."  
Sanosuke obeyed. "Ka- Kaoru."  
"I'm here," she told him, pouring some more water over his head. "You'll be okay Sano. We're here. We'll get you home."  
"Kaoru. Weights."  
"What?" Kaoru asked, looking down at the weights that hung from Sanosuke's shoulders on cords that criss-crossed over Sanosuke's perfect chest muscles. Following the cords with her eyes, Kaoru saw the problem. "They're cutting into the sides of your throat!" she cried, horrifed. Kaoru immediately grabbed the closest weight and raised it and untangled it from the other strung weights. She let it fall to the ground, partly because she was in a hurry to get the other one off of Sanosuke and partly because she couldn't hold onto it. Kaoru wondered if the weights weighed as much as she did. "Drink," she ordered Sanosuke again when the other weight was gone.  
He tried to disobey. "Kaoru-"  
"I said DRINK!" Kaoru grabbed Sanosuke's chin and tilted his head back, forcing the water into his mouth. "You're dehydrated you idiot. If you don't get some fluids into you then you're going to get even sicker than you already are!"  
Sanosuke choked on the water and spit some of it out. He continued to cough.  
"Oh Sanosuke," Kaoru felt bad for yelling at him. She wiped his face with the sleeve of her kimono. "You're going to be okay."  
"I've gotten all the ropes I can, Kaoru," Yahiko told her. "You need to get the ones on his arms. I can't reach those."  
Kaoru poured the rest of the water from the first skin over Sanosuke's head and down his back. "Hold him around the waist Yahiko. When I get these off he's going to fall foreward." Kaoru went to work untying the rest of Sanosuke's ropes. She was able to help catch him when he fell. Kaoru and Yahiko dragged Sanosuke across the clearing and propped him so he was sitting with his back to a tree. "Eat," Kaoru ordered him now, holding a slice of cucumber to his mouth.  
"I'll get sick," Sanosuke told her, his eyelids struggled to stay open, then sunk to meet their lower counterparts.   
"Then drink," Kaoru picked up the jar of pickled plums and held it to Sanosuke's lips. She poured the plum flavored vinegar into his mouth slowly so he wouldn't choke.  
"That's not water," Sanosuke protested when she took it away.  
"I know, but you're still going to drink it."  
"Yuck," Yahiko made a terrible face. "You really are a terrible woman, Kaoru, making poor Sanosuke drink vinegar!"  
"What do you mean I'm a terrible woman?!" Kaoru demanded  
"What do you mean 'poor Sanosuke'?!" Sanosuke coughed angrily.  
"Don't cough," Kaoru said, calming almost immediatly. "And don't talk. Your throat is probably still dry."  
"Today was the first time I used those weights," Sanosuke explained. "I didn't count on them strangling me. They were fine at first, but-"  
"If you can talk then you can eat!" Kaoru jammed a piece of cucumber into Sanosuke's mouth.  
"Kaoru! You're going to make him choke again!" Yahiko protested.  
"Shut up, Yahiko!" she snapped, then more gently to Sanosuke she said, "We're going to have a hard time getting you home tonight, Sanosuke. Why don't we just stay here tonight? That way you won't have to get up again until tomorrow morning."  
"Mmmnn," Sanosuke seemed to agree.  
"Drink a little bit more and then you can go to sleep," Kaoru poured some more of the plum vinegar into his mouth.  
"I swear, you would have made an excellent master torturer for the shogun," Yahiko muttered. "Have you ever tried drinking that stuff Kaoru? It's nasty as hell!"  
"Watch your mouth!" Kaoru slapped Yahiko.  
"Sorry Sanosuke. I tried," Yahiko told their less than consious friend.  
"Just shut up, Yahiko," Kaoru said, wrapping her arms around Sanosuke's shoulders and pulling him gently to the ground. "Go to sleep Sano. You're safe now."  
Sanosuke sighed. "Kaoru," he whispered  
"Yes?" Kaoru leaned in close to hear what Sanosuke had to say. But Sanosuke was asleep.  
  
When Sanosuke awoke he was aware of only one thing: How incredibly dizzy he was. He couldn't tell if he was standing or sitting or laying down. There was light shining directly in his face. What was going on?  
"Kaoru?" he asked. He wasn't sure why he called out to her- he didn't know where he was and if she was near enough to hear.  
"Sanosuke. You're finally awake," Kaoru's cheery voice cut through his growing head ache. Her face appeared in his field of vision. "How are you feeling?"  
"Miserable," Sanosuke forced himself into a sitting position. Kaoru put an arm around his shoulders to help him. "What happened? Did I get into a fight?"  
"No. You almost strangled yourself with weights while you were training."  
"Oh, yeah."  
"Drink." A skin of water was thrust into his face. Sanosuke took it from Kaoru and obeyed her order. "This training you've been doing is dangerous, Sanosuke," Kaoru told him. "You shouldn't do it unsupervised. What if someone came up and wanted to kill you? You wouldn't be able to untie yourself quickly enough to fight."  
"This type of training makes me stronger," Sanosuke said when he finished drinking. "Stronger and faster. Two things that I need to be able to fight in the same league as the legends of the revolution."  
"That doesn't make it any less dangerous!" Kaoru shouted. "I don't have any objections to you training this way as long as there's someone with you to help you if your weights start strangling you or to untie you if you need to be freed quickly."  
"I'm not going to drag you and Yahiko all the way out here every day," Sanosuke told her.  
"I'm not asking you to! There's no reason why you can't train at the Kamiya Dojo the same way you train here. We can move your ropes into the storehouse and you can train in there, where I can get to you if you start choking!" Kaoru shouted.  
Sanosuke looked at the ground, scowling. "Today- or yesterday- was the first time I used the extra weights. They kept slipping off my shoulders so I crossed them across my body. Then it was fine until I stopped sweating and tried to untie myself before I took the weights off. That's when they started strangling me."  
"Train at the dojo where I can keep an eye on you," Kaoru told him, "So I can make sure you don't get your fool self killed."  
"I don't need anyone keeping an eye on me," Sanosuke scowled. "I'm not some child who's going to get himself trampled by a horse the moment you let go of my hand."  
"I know that, Sanosuke," Kaoru told him, "But that doesn't mean I don't worry about you when you go off and do something dangerous without anyone with you. Besides, you waste an awful lot of time walking from the dojo to this place and back every day, don't you?"  
"I do," Sanosuke had to admit.  
"Then move these ropes back home. You can train there."  
"Alright," Sanosuke sighed.  
"Good. Now that we've got that settled, eat something," Kaoru ordered, shoving a jar of pickled plums into his face.  
"I hate pickled plums," Sanosuke tried to scoot away from the offending food.  
"I DON'T CARE!!! YOU WILL EAT THEM BECAUSE THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOU!!!" Kaoru screamed.  
Sanosuke swallowed. Under normal circumstances he probably would have rebelled. Right now he was dizzy, hungry, and had a terrible head ache that would only get worse if Kaoru continued to scream. "Alright," he gave in.  
Kaoru's smirk was annoying, but kind of cute- in a strictly non-romantic way, Sanosuke told himself. What she said, however, was not cute at all, just annoying. "Now you see how it is." 


	4. What's Wrong With Leaving?

Cool. My story's been up less that a day and I already got three reviews! Thanks for your support. This is a Sano/Kaoru fic, Slrmoon, and Kaoru and Sanosuke are going to find themselves looking after each other a lot from now on. Zackire, the world IS a pretty sad place when the Zanza doesn't rebell. I'll work on it. And Cool Camzy Blue, here's the next chapter like you asked for. Thanks for your support!  
  
@-- Rose C*est la V  
  
  
What's Wrong With Leaving  
  
Kaoru insisted that Sanosuke be checked by Dr. Gensai, and Sanosuke's head still hurt too much for him to refuse. While they were there, Kaoru talked with Gensai about beginning to train Ayame in swordsmanship after the tournament. Naturally Suzume wanted to learn too, but Kaoru and Gensai had to explain that Suzume was still too young to learn a martial art. Suzume ran off crying while Kaoru, Gensai, and Ayame talked. No one noticed when Sanosuke left the room.  
Sanosuke found Suzume in the garden she was still crying. He sat down beside her and watched her until she noticed his presence.  
"It's not fair!" she wailed when she finally realized that she wasn't alone. "Why does Ayame get to learn and not me?! Just because she's older?!"  
"I don't know," Sanosuke answered. "Because your sister's been alive longer she does know more. She's stronger than you and more coordinated. She knows more. I guess that's why Kaoru and Gensai think she's ready to move on."  
"But that's not fair!" Suzume wailed.  
"Tell me about it," Sanosuke muttered, resting his one elbow on his knees and his chin in his open hand.  
"Huh?" Suzume did not understand the question.  
"Dumbing it down, I agree with you completely. It sucks that the people who are older get to have all the fun. It sucks that they're stronger because they'd lived through more than we have. And it really sucks when you run into a cocky old geezer who insults you for your youth and lack of experience. It really sucks."  
"Yeah, it suckses!" Suzume agreed.   
"What sucks the most is being friends with someone older and stronger than you," Sanosuke wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or to Suzume anymore. "Because sooner or later they go off to fight even stronger opponents and leave you behind. That's what sucks the most about the older, stronger people you care about leaving. Being left behind."  
"Mr. Sanosuke?" Suzume stared up at him with huge eyes.  
"Yeah, kid?"  
"Did someone leave you behind? Someone bigger and stronger than you?"  
Sanosuke gave a strained smile. "Someone stronger than me and older. Not bigger though. He was shorter than I am."  
"Why didn't you follow him, then?" Suzume asked. "You're big enough to do what you want without anyone stopping you. No one can really tell you what to do because you're so big."  
"I wanted to follow," Sanosuke said, closing his eyes. "And I could have. But there were more important things than not being left behind. Someone I cared about would have been a lot worse off if I had gone and left her behind. And I'm never leaving behind anyone that I care about again- until I die at least. I don't have much of a choice then. But as long as I'm capable of living, I'm not going to leave behind people who need me."  
"Did you ever leave behind someone who needed you who you loved?" Suzume asked.  
Sanosuke resisted the urge to frown. What was it about little kids and lots of questions? Suzume was just a kid, he knew, and didn't know that it was rude to pry. Sanosuke wondered how he was going to answer her. She certainly didn't need to know the whole story about him and the Sekihoutai. Sanosuke didn't want to tell her about that anyway. He didn't want to tell anyone about that. But would the little girl accept a simple 'Yes' as an answer and leave it at that? Probably not.  
"When I was about your age I was taken in by a man and his militia-type army because my mother had died. The man's name was Sagara and he was like a father to me. I took his last name because I couldn't remember my own, even if Sanosuke Sagara does sound weird.  
"When I was around nine years old out militia- the Sekihoutai, got into some trouble. There was a battle. . ." there was a massacre "and though the Sekihoutai fought, we lost. . ." and though the Sekihoutai tried to fight, they were shot like dogs. . . and I was helpless to do anything except watch as all my friends died. "Captain Sagara was injured during the battle. A small group of us managed to escape, but the bad people who were after us chased us. The few others who were with Sagara and I got lost," were murdered by the cold blooded, imperialist snakes "and so the only ones left were Sagara and I. We could hear the bad guys coming after us when we reached a river- the kind of river that has a really high bank, almost like a cliff. Sagara told me to leave him and run away. He was afraid that I would be hurt if I stayed with him. I refused. I wanted to stay with Sagara, but Sagara was determined that I would live," because he knew that he wouldn't, "he pushed me off the bank and into the river. I never saw Sagara again." I saw Sagara get shot as I fell. I saw the blood. I saw him die. But that wasn't the last time I saw Captain Sagara- I saw his head on a spike about a month later. His skin was bloated from death and his eyes had been pecked out by the damn crows. I couldn't even recognize him. But that image of Sagara's head on a spike has haunted me ever since. I was nine fucking years old. . .  
"Mr. Sanosuke," Suzume crawled over to him and grabbed onto his shoulder, "You didn't leave Sagara. He sent you away so that you would be safe. It's not the same thing."  
Sanosuke's eyes stung. He hung his head to try to hide it, then put one hand over his eyes. "I didn't want to leave Sagara." His voice cracked. Sanosuke felt disgusted with himself.   
"It wasn't your fault," Suzume wrapped her arms around Sanosuke's neck in a hug. "He left you, Mr. Sanosuke, not the other way around."  
"I didn't want to leave Sagara," Sanosuke choked. He couldn't think of anything else to say.  
"It wasn't your fault," Kaoru said, putting a hand on Sanosuke's shoulder.  
"Kaoru?" Sanosuke was humiliated. It was one thing for a three year old child to see him nearly in tears. It was completely different for a woman nearly his own age, who would actually remember this conversation tomorrow, to see him fighting back sobs.  
"It's alright, Sanosuke," Kaoru kelt beside him. "You kept going, didn't you? Remember what you told me? 'You keep on going so that someday everything will be alright'? Well everything's alright again, isn't it? The meamory still hurts but time has dulled the pain, hasn't it?"  
"Yes," Sanosuke gasped, turning his face away from her.  
Kaoru grabbed his chin in her hand and forced him to look at her. "You've never talked about this before, have you?" she asked. The question was probably rhetorical, but Sanosuke nodded as an answer anyway. "No wonder it's hurting now," Kaoru patted his shoulder. "You never bled the poison off of the meamory." She moved her hand again and touched the sleeve of her kimono to Sanosuke's face to wipe away his tears.  
"The poison's receeding now, at least," Sanosuke tried to smile. If he succeeded, he knew his smile was shaky.   
"As it should be," Kaoru returned his smile.  
"Kaoru? Do you think I could have a moment with Suzume? I'll talk with you on the way to your home. And at your home. But there's something I need to tell Suzume here, now." Sanosuke carefully put his hand on Suzume's shoulder, very gently so he wouldn't accidentally hurt this little girl.  
"Alright," Kaoru looked a little reluctant, but stook anyway. "Yahiko and I will be waiting at the door. And don't worry, we won't leave you behind. I won't leave behind anyone who won't leave me."  
"I know," Sanosuke was able to give Kaoru a more convincing smile this time. Kaoru nodded at him and went back inside. "So, Suzume-chan," Sanosuke turned his smile to the little girl. "You still don't want to get left behind, do you?" Suzume shook her head fervently. "Well, Kaoru would probably try to kill me if I started teaching you fist fighting, and your grandfather wouldn't like it either. But there are a few things that I can teach you that they shouldn't have a problem with. They'll help you get ready for when you're old enough to train. This way we don't piss Kaoru off and you don't get left behind. What do you say?"  
Suzume grinned up at him. "I say it's good, but Mr. Sanosuke?"  
"Yes?"  
"What's piss?" 


	5. What's Wrong With Talking About Kenshin?

What's Wrong With Talking About Kenshin?  
  
Much to Kaoru's relief, Sanosuke started doing his afternoon training at the  
Kamiya Dojo. He insisted on using all of those cables to train, but chose to double the  
cables instead of wrapping weights around his throat. That was some improvement, at  
least.   
The tournament was drawling close and Kaoru was beginning to get nervous. It  
had been a very long time since she had been in a martial arts tournament, and more was at  
stake this tournament than ever before. If she and her comrades did well, she could  
restore the Kamiya dojo's good name. If not, she would be a laughing stock for the whole  
city. Kaoru wasn't worried about Yahiko not doing well. He was the best student she  
ever had and was capable of defeating enemies much stronger than what he would be  
facing- he'd proved it before. And Kaoru doubted that she would have to worry about  
Sanosuke when he was actually competing (while he was training was still another story).   
She was worried about not doing well herself. If the assistant master of the Kamiya  
Kashin style made a fool of herself, it wouldn't matter how great the other competitors for  
her school did. The Kamiya dojo would still lose face.  
"Woman! You're burning our dinner again!" Sanosuke's sharp voice startled  
Kaoru back to awareness.  
"Wha- oh!" Kaoru hurried to stop the food from burning.  
"Man, we go through this every day," Sanosuke sighed. "At least we know its  
done. You can get all kinds of sicknesses from eating chicken that hasn't been cooked  
properly."  
"How would you know?" Kaoru demanded, crossly.  
"Don't ask," Sanosuke advised her.  
Kaoru looked up at him and shook her head. "Well as you pointed out, at least  
you know that this chicken is done."  
"Overdone," Sanosuke corrected. He grinned when Kaoru shot him another dirty  
look.  
"Your only goal in sticking around here was to annoy me," Kaoru pretended to  
pout. "You didn't decide not to follow Kenshin because you didn't think you could cut it,  
you just realized that you'd never get another chance to tease me like this if you passed it  
up!" Sanosuke didn't respone immediately like he usually did, and Kaoru realized what  
she had just said. She had joked about Kenshin's departure and it hadn't hurt, but in the  
same breath she had insulted Sanosuke by implying that she might have thought he stayed  
behind because he didn't think he could measure up to the revolutionary warriors Would  
Sanosuke take offense? Kaoru was almost scared to look at her friend, but forced herself  
to do so.  
Sanosuke stared at the fire, a strange look on his face. Anger? Hurt? His fists  
were clenched tight and his eyes shone over-bright. Kaoru thought that she could see a  
glint of green in them. Oh no, she'd really insulted Sanosuke. Sanosuke who had drug  
her out of her misery and back into the world, who had helped her move on without  
Kenshin.  
"I'm sorry, Sanosuke!" she said quickly, standing up and moving to his side. "I  
didn't mean for it to sound that way. I've never thought that you stayed behind because  
you didn't think you could fight in the same league with the revolutionaries. I know you  
stayed behind to help me and I didn't mean to make you mad or insult you. I'm so sorry!"   
When Sanosuke didn't look at her, she put a hand tentatively on his shoulder.  
"I'm not mad," Sanosuke told her, visibly relaxing and finally turning his face  
toward Kaoru. "I didn't think you thought that of me. I was just thinking how well. . .  
how well you're getting along without Kenshin. I mean, I know you'd be happier if he  
was here, but you've moved on along quite nicely." Something in his eyes made Kaoru  
wonder if that was what he'd really been thinking about. She doubted that it was, but  
decided not to press the issue. It would only upset Sanosuke even more. "One full day  
left before the tournament," Sanosuke changed the subject. "You ready to kick some  
ass?"  
Kaoru smiled. "I'm ready to win honor for the Kamiya Dojo."  
Sanosuke shrugged. "So you are ready to kick ass, just not in so many words."  
"Call Yahiko and tell him it's time to eat, would you?" Kaoru asked, picking up a  
bowl and dishing some burnt chicken into it. Sanosuke eyed the food with distaste, stood  
quickly, and left. He returned shortly with Yahiko in tow.  
"Kaoru! What did you do to the food this time?!" Yahiko demanded, running over  
and dropping to his knees before the cook fire.  
"She burnt it, isn't it obvious?" Sanosuke sat down beside Kaoru and made a face  
at his bowl of food.  
"Don't complain!" Kaoru snapped, picking up a daikon radish and cracking  
Sanosuke over the head with it, knowing that it was Sanosuke's leave favorite vegetable.  
"Stop that, Missy!" Sanosuke growled. "I am a patient man as ex-gangsters go,  
but I will not tolerate both your abuse and your cooking at the same time."  
"There's nothing wrong with my cooking! It's just well done!"  
"Whatever."  
"Hmph," Kaoru turned away angrily. "If you don't like it than don't eat it! You  
can just starve for all I care!"  
"That's not very nice," Sanosuke commented and began to eat. Immediately he  
made a face.  
"I wish Kenshin were here. He could cook a lot better than you!" Yahiko  
muttered.   
Kaoru scowled. Out the corner of her eye she saw Sanosuke give Yahiko a sharp  
look. "So what if he could cook?!" Kaoru demanded, angrily. "He's not here now so I'm  
cooking! If you don't like it than go to Kyoto and find him and have him cook for you!   
And if you want to do that then don't bother coming back here!"  
"Take it easy, woman," Sanosuke advised, shooting his hand out to grab Kaoru's  
wrist as she changed her grip on her chopsticks to hold them like knives.  
"Don't tell me what to do!" Kaoru screamed, grabbing her rice bowl and smashing  
it toward Sanosuke's face without realizing what she was doing.  
Quick reflexes saved Sanosuke from a face full of china fragments. He blocked it  
with his open palm the same way he always blocked Kaoru's fists. The impact shattered  
the bowl. Several slivers lodged themselves in Sanosuke's palm.  
For a long moment all three trainees of the Kamiya dojo sat in silence. No one  
moved. It was as if they had all been paralized. Kaoru could only stare at what she had  
done. Sanosuke didn't make any attempt the pull the pieces of dish from his hand. He  
didn't even withdrawl his hand. Yahiko didn't seem to know what to do.  
"That was uncalled for," Sanosuke said finally, giving his hand a shake. Several  
grains of rice fell from it and onto the red stained pile of rice on the floor.  
"Sanosuke," Kaoru put one hand over her mouth. "I-"  
Sanosuke stood up, turning his hand so that the blood would pool in it instead of  
dripping onto the floor. Without another word, he turned and left the dojo.  
"I'm sorry," Kaoru whispered.  
"He's gone," Yahiko told her.  
"I shouldn't have done that," Yahiko said softly.  
"You think I don't know that?!" Kaoru exploded.  
"I know that you know that!" Yahiko yelled right back. "I'm just making sure you  
know why you did that!"  
"What's that supposed to mean?!"  
"You were mad that I mentioned Kenshin!" Yahiko was on his feet now. "And  
you took it out on Sanosuke!"  
"I was not mad that you mentioned Kenshin! I was mad that you were insulting  
my cooking!" Kaoru argued.  
"Oh yeah right! We've insulted your cooking ever since we first had to suffer  
through it!" Yahiko yelled. "You never got so mad that you really tried to injure someone  
when Kenshin was around! You threw a few sticks and vegetables but you never tried to  
smash a bowl in someone's face before!"  
"Today I just lost my temper!"  
"You lost it because I mentioned Kenshin!"  
"THAT IS NOT WHY I LOST MY TEMPER!" Kaoru screamed.  
"I say it is!" Yahiko shouted back. "You get angrier every time you hear  
Kenshin's name!"  
"I DO NOT!"  
"You do!" Yahiko was so worked up that spit was flying from his mouth as he  
screamed. "It's always alright if you say Kenshin's name but whenever someone else says  
it you bite someone's head off! It's not our fault that he left you know, so don't take it  
out on us!"  
"I'm not!"  
"You are!" Yahiko stomped his foot. "Think for a moment, Kaoru, really think.   
Have you ever tried to make someone bleed before for telling you to take it easy?!"  
Kaoru frowned.  
"You see? You're still mad that Kenshin left you so you beat on us when we talk  
about him."  
"I'm sorry," Kaoru stared at the floor.  
"Appologize to Sano, not me," Yahiko stormed out of the room.  
Kaoru covered her mouth again when Yahiko was gone and closed her eyes so the  
tears building in them wouldn't spill over. Yahiko was right. She needed to appologize to  
Sanosuke when he was in hearing distance. But she had no idea how to find him.  
Kaoru tried to fight back her sobs but lost the battle when she realized that she  
hadn't felt this bad since Sanosuke had yanked her bed out from under her right after  
Kenshin left. Sanosuke had been there for her since Kenshin left. He had kept her from  
feeling like this by keeping her angry. Kaoru had never realized how much she'd come to  
depend on Sanosuke for her own well being. Not when Sanosuke swam through the  
ocean of her misery to keep her from downing. Not when Sanosuke had  
uncharacteristically offered to fight for the Kamiya Dojo in the upcoming tournament to  
make her feel better. Not even when Sanosuke had been missing and Kaoru knew that  
something had happened to him. Kaoru hadn't realized how much she had come to  
depend on Sanosuke for her happiness until now. Now that he wasn't there.  
  
  
_______________________________________________________________________  
Thanks to Bkerrmom1 and Rembrandt77 for reviewing and to Cool Camzy Blue for your continued support. I'll try to get the next chapter up tomorrow.  
  
@-- Rose C*est la V 


	6. What's Wrong With Tournaments?

What's Wrong With Tournaments?  
  
Sanosuke didn't show up at all the next day. Kaoru waited all morning for him to come train Yahiko, then all afternoon for him to show up for dinner. But he didn't come.  
"You know he's fine, Kaoru," Yahiko told her as the sun started to set. "There's no one in Tokyo capable of beating up Sano now that Ke- now that all the revolutionary warriors have left."  
"That's not why I'm worried," Kaoru sighed.  
"Then what are you worried about? That he's not going to show for the tournament tomorrow?"  
"I'm worried that I hurt him."  
"With a few pieces of a broken bowl? Those slivers went into his palm, not his throat. Give Sanosuke some credit for stamina. He deserves a little, I think." Yahiko tried to make a joke.  
"Not that kind of hurt," Kaoru said, frustrated.  
"You think you hurt his feeling?" Yahiko asked incredulously. "Kaoru, please! Sanosuke's a grown man! He doesn't cry over every insult anymore than he cries over a few shallow cuts on his palm! You're incapable of hurting his feelings. Why would he care what an ugly like you does in a fit of rage?"  
Kaoru scowled at Yahiko. "Isn't it past your bed time?"  
"It's not even dark yet," Yahiko glared at her.  
"The sun sets late these days and we have a tournament to go to tomorrow- if Sanosuke shows, that is. We should turn in early."  
"You're probably right, even if you are ugly."  
"I'm not ugly!" Kaoru snapped.  
"You are. But you know Sanosuke will be there, don't you? He's not going to let us down."  
"I'd feel better if it were Kenshin entering the tournament with us instead of Sanosuke," Kaoru muttered, not intending for Yahiko to hear.  
Unfortunately Yahiko did head. "Well excuse HIM for not being short, red headed, twenty-eight, and on his way to Kyoto! He's been treating you the best he knows how, even if you don't think he's as reliable as Kenshin was!"   
"I didn't mean Sanosuke's not reliable!" Kaoru shouted back at her student.  
"Then what did you mean? That you wish that he was Kenshin?"  
"I don't want Sanosuke to be Kenshin! I just wish that Kenshin was here! Here with us instead of wandering off to kill psychotic murderers for the government and risking becoming Battosai the Manslayer again!"   
"Then say what you mean!" Yahiko screamed. "Because even if you're incapable of hurting Sanosuke's feelings, don't think that he doesn't care what you say about him or do to him!"  
"I know he cares about what I say and do!"  
"Then why are you always saying stupid stuff that pisses him off?!"  
"I don't mean to!" Kaoru stormed off the porch and into the draining room snatching the closes practice sword off the wall and swinging it in a strike meant to break someone's collar bone. "I don't mean to make him mad!" She executed a disarming move and spun so that her next strike wouldn't damage the wall. "I didn't mean to get so mad at him yesterday!" Kaoru struck at her imaginary opponent's knees, then thrust her sword at where his stomach would be. "Ever since Kenshin left, Sanosuke has been there to help me!" Side strike followed up by another collar bone crush. "So why, why, why is everything so messed up between us?!" Kaoru finished with an overhead strike hard enough to shatter someone's skull. "WHY?!"  
There was no one around to give Kaoru an answer. Disgusted, she replaced her sword on the wall and went to get ready for bed.  
  
Sanosuke still hadn't shown by the next morning. Kaoru made enough breakfast for three, though she didn't cook any of it herself. Rather than risk giving herself, her apprentice, and her friend food poisoning on the day of the tournament, Kaoru peeled and cut some vegetables and served cold tofu she had sent Yahiko to buy from the market the day before.  
"The one day we have a decent breakfast, Sanosuke doesn't show," Yahiko commented around a mouthful of cabbage. Seeing the look that crossed Kaoru's face he said, "Don't worry, Kaoru. He'll probably meet us at the tournament. You know he won't let us down."  
"Maybe he doesn't care if he lets me down or not anymore," Kaoru said softly.  
"Of course he still cares you stupid ugly," Yahiko snapped. "He didn't go to Kyoto because he chose to take care of you. Even though you're much better, he's still sticking around to take care of you. He's going to be at the tournament to compete with us because he still wants to help YOU!" He finished his tofu and stood up. "We should get going. We don't want to be the last school there!"  
"You're right," Kaoru stood up as well, "Go get your kendo stick, and choose an extra one to take as well- just in case."  
Yahiko scrambled to obey as Kaoru went to change into her training clothes and get her own wooden swords.   
  
Sanosuke was not at the tournament when Kaoru and Yahiko got there. "He'll be here any minute," Yahiko insisted, as they waited by the registration stand.  
"I know," Kaoru tried to sound convinced. "We're here very early after all, and Sanosuke is often late."  
An hour passed and there was still no sign of Sanosuke.  
"Last call for registrations!" the man at the stand was calling. "Any more martial arts schools that want to enter must do so now!"  
"Where is he?!" Yahiko growled.  
"He's not coming," Kaoru sighed. "We might as well go home."  
"No!" Yahiko grabbed Kaoru's wrist and tried to drag her to the registration stand. "We've trained too hard to just stop now! We've got to enter!"  
"But we don't have enough people!" Kaoru hissed. They were in front of the stand now.  
"Maybe they'll make an exception!"  
"Last call for registrations!"  
"Here," Kaoru summoned as much courage as she could and stepped up to the stand. "I'm Kaoru Kamiya, Assistant Master of the Kamiya Dojo, competing with my student Yahiko Miyojin."  
The man at the stand scowled; because of a woman assistant master or because she had not stated the name of their third competitor. "A school is required to produce three competitors to enter into this tournament, Miss. Where is your third student."  
"He's not here right now," Kaoru said, feeling stupid. "But he'll be here."  
"All competitors need to be with their school at the time of registration. Unless your third student is with you, you cannot compete," the man's nose was tilted so high in the air that Kaoru hoped he got a nosebleed. "And since you have no third student-"  
"I'm right here," a familiar voice said from behind Kaoru.  
"Sanosuke!" Kaoru turned quickly.  
"Sano! What took you so long?!" Yahiko demanded.  
"I was delayed," Sanosuke said simply. "But I'm here now. So register the Kamiya Dojo for the tournament. Now." Sanosuke spoke to the man inside the stand.  
The man scowled. "I'm sorry, but the deadline for registration-"  
"Has not passed yet," Sanosuke cracked his knuckles and gave the registration man a smile that promised violence. "And I believe you require my name to register us. It's Sanosuke Sagara, better known as Zanza."  
The man's eyes widened. "Zanza?" he squeaked. "Uh, yes. And the name of your school again?"  
"The Kamiya Dojo," Kaoru said quickly.  
"The Kamiya Dojo," the man repeated, rapidly writing something. He handed Kaoru a piece of paper. "All three of you and your school are registered, Ma'am. Good luck."  
"Thank you," Kaoru said politely.  
Sanosuke sneered, "Now you see how it is."   
They began to walk into the square where the tournament was being held. As soon as they were far enough away from the registration stand, Kaoru grabbed Sanosuke by the front of his jacket and shoved him into a conveniently placed lightpost. "Where have you been?! We thought you weren't going to show!"  
Sanosuke scowled down at her. "I don't need to explain myself to you, Missy."  
Kaoru glared up at him. "Fine! Don't tell me! I don't care!" She turned away.  
"Forget about it for now! They're getting ready to start!" Yahiko grabbed Kaoru and started dragging her through the crowd.  
"What's your hurry? They always start with the little kids kata competition- open handed which you're not doing," Sanosuke followed them.  
"I'm not a little kid!" Yahiko protested.  
"Then they do the youth kata competition, then adults, then they do the weapons forms competitions in the exact same order. Only then does it start getting fun," Sanosuke grinned. "Sparring is next- open hand, age divisions in the same order, then weapons sparring."  
Kaoru stopped and Sanosuke almost ran into her. "You didn't teach Yahiko any open hand forms?" she demanded.  
"No. Why?"   
"Forms are the basis of martial arts!" Kaoru snapped. "They represent your martial arts' background and teach you to attack and block in succession!"  
"So does sparring," Sanosuke looked down at Kaoru, confused.  
"It's not the same!" Kaoru exploded. "If I had known you weren't teaching my apprentice any open hand forms I would have stepped in and-"  
"I take it you like forms," Sanosuke commented as though he hadn't caught on until now.  
"They are the basis of martial arts-"  
"Forms aren't the basis of martial arts," Sanosuke argued. "Teachers are the basis of martial arts. If you have a good teacher you don't need to learn forms."  
"Of course you do! They develop your reflexes so you learn to throw multiple attacks instead of throwing everything behind one punch or kick-"  
"There are other ways to develop those reflexes you know," Sanosuke told her.   
"But forms are the right way-"  
"There is no ONE right way!" Sanosuke snapped.   
"There is!"  
"There is not!"  
"Is!"  
"Is not!"  
"IS!"  
"IS NOT!"  
"IS!!!"  
"There's not and you know it," Sanosuke lowered his voice and shot a glare at the people who had started watching them. "You know what I think?"  
"I don't care what you think!" Kaoru spat.  
"I think that you just like forms because when you execute a form there's only one way to do it. Every movement that you make is planned out ahead of time and if you practice a kata enough, you don't even have to think about what you're doing. You dislike actually having to plan what you're going to do for yourself and think about the consequences or what you're going to do next. It's much easier just to do what people have always done or what people tell you to do instead of thinking for yourself," Sanosuke drawled.  
"That's not true!" Kaoru protested.  
"Isn't it?"  
"No!" Kaoru screamed, taking a swing at Sanosuke's chest. "Shut up! What do you know about anything?!"  
"They're inlaws," Yahiko was explaining to the people in the crowd. "He married her sister and they don't get along. . ."  
Kaoru shot Yahiko an incredulous look.  
"If you think they're bad you should see her fight with his mother."  
People shook their heads and moved on, knowing all too well what a pain inlaws could be. Kaoru turned back to Sanosuke ready to shout at him again or hit him, but saw that he wasn't looking at her anymore. He was looking at Yahiko, a sick look on his face. She started to ask Sanosuke if something was wrong but remembered in time that she was mad at him.  
"Whatever you say, woman," Sanosuke said suddenly, turning away from her.   
"Sanosuke. . ." his name was out of her mouth before Kaoru knew she had spoken.  
"Don't worry, I'm not bailing out on you," Sanosuke didn't turn to look at Kaoru again.   
"Where are you going?" Yahiko asked.  
"Not far," was the only answer he got.  
Yahiko looked at Kaoru and shrugged. "Are you doing a kata?"  
"As a matter of fact I am," Kaoru drew herself up so she stood tall. She was proud that she was competing in the kata division and wasn't going to let anyone think otherwise.  
  
Sanosuke didn't watch the youngest division's kata competition. Yahiko wasn't competing in it so there wasn't any point. If he had taught Yahiko a kata he knew that Yahiko would win, though. But Sanosuke's teacher had not believed in teaching forms, so as a result neither did Sanosuke.  
He did make a point to watch Kaoru compete though, and had to admit that he was impressed. Her kata was an advanced one, but a common one. Kaoru made it look good though, in a way that none of the other competitors were able to. Her movements were strong and sharp, and her natural grace gave her an edge over her opponents. Most people, in Sanosuke's opinion, looked like jointed scare crows when they did their kata. Kaoru looked more like a dancer.  
As much as Sanosuke would have liked to have gone up to Kaoru and congratulated her on an excellent performance, he refrained. He had the feeling that Kaoru was still mad at him for being late, and didn't feel like fighting with her at the moment- he'd been fighting a battle with himself all morning. The only type of fight Sanosuke wanted at that moment was one with fists, fought until someone was knocked out. In fact, he wanted nothing more than to get into an exhilarating fight that would require all his strength, speed, and stamina, so that for a minute, or five minutes, or even half a damn minute, he could forget the issue weighing down heavily on his heart.  
He had a long wait.  
Yahiko and Kaoru both did forms with their swords in the next division, both taking first places, just as Kaoru had taken first in her kata division. Then lucky Yahiko got to spar. His opponents were all wash outs and wusses who fell under the devastating punches that Sanosuke had taught the kid. If Yahiko hadn't beaten every single one of them, Sanosuke would have been very dissappointed in him. But Yahiko did Sanosuke and the Kamiya Dojo proud, taking the first place medal for his division.  
Kaoru sparred next. She did well, dodging blows and blocking kicks, waiting until the exact right moment to strike. She took her time fighting, but managed to knock out quite a few men who were more than twice her size, everyone she faced who was her size or smaller, and the only other woman in her division. Sanosuke kept a close watch on Kaoru during her fights, partly because he was interested in how she did and partly to make sure that none of them pulled any cheap shit. He needn't have worried, though. Kaoru's opponents were close to her own age and most of them were too stupid or too full of childish ideals to think of any cheap stunts to pull. There was one large boy who Sanosuke thought was probably too old to compete in Kaoru's divion, who tried to hide a dagger in the front folds of his robe before going against Kaoru. Sanosuke used the pick pocketing skills he had learned from Yahiko to relieve the brat of it.  
Finally it was Sanosuke's turn.  
Sanosuke's first opponent was a pushover. One flat palmed shove from Sanosuke put the man down and kept him down. Thoroughly disappointed, Sanosuke had to wait for his next fight- which turned out to be a sumo wrestler who did a lot of shouting and a lot of stomping and was done away with when Sanosuke flicked him in the forehead. It was beginning to look to Sanosuke like this tournament wasn't going to be nearly as much fun as he'd thought it would be.   
Then he noticed a tough guy on the other side of the bracket- one who didn't do away with his opponents as quickly as Sanosuke did, but wasn't fazed by them either. The guy toyed with his adversaries like he was a cat and they were his toys, not even worthy to be compared to mice. In the middle of his second fight, the tough guy looked up and saw Sanosuke's eyes on him. The tough guy smiled, was punched directly in the face, then grabbed the poor man fighting him by the neck and squeazed his throat until the poor man passed out. The tough guy show Sanosuke a nasty smile then walked out of the ring and toward him. "You like that?" the man asked, his voice no more pleasant than his smile.  
"Not especially. You're not only wasting your time toying with those weaklings. You're wasting mine as well," Sanosuke answered, giving the tough guy a disdainful look.  
"It's more fun if they think they have a chance," Tough Guy sneered. "You put yours out of their misery too quick and reveal your true strength to all your other opponents."  
"It gives them a chance to drop out so we can get this finished faster," Sanosuke replied without missing a beat.  
"It makes tournaments boring."  
"What's wrong with tournaments is people who play with boring people and drag every match out like bad actors," Sanosuke crossed his arms.  
"I say that what's wrong with tournaments is cocky bastards who run off their mouths," Tough Guy snarled.  
"Hmph. You'd know," Sanosuke answered promptly.  
"I am Isaka Tsumara," Tough Guy introduced himself. "The first leader of the Shinsengumi Squad One. Because I did not follow orders correctly, I was replaced by a young diseased fool who rotted from the inside out. I was his superior."  
Sanosuke looked at Isaka calmly. "What are you sparring for then? If you really were a member of the Shinsengumi then your forte is supposed to be swordsmanship."  
"I have nothing to worry about in the sparring division. There's no one here who can knock me out."  
"Except me," Sanosuke growled.  
"Obviously you've never faced a Shinsengumi Squad Leader before, little boy," Isaka drawled.  
Sanosuke touched the shoulder that Saito had injured about a month before unconsiously. "Obviously," he muttered, the irony of it lost on Isaka. "Tell me, were you better or worse than the leader of squad three?"  
"Better," Isaka snapped. "Seito was a coward and a fool."  
Seito?   
"I just thought he was annoying," Sanosuke said casually. "Saito never struck me as a coward. You have no room to call him a fool if you can't even remember his name."  
"His name was Seito," Isaka insisted.  
"And I'm a cat."  
"Sorry, but I'm going to have to rain on your parade, Cat-Boy," Isaka sneered.  
Sanosuke heard someone summoning him to fight again. "Whatever," he said to Isaka as he started to walk away. "I'll see you in the finals- if you make it that far."  
Sanosuke had no more trouble dispatching his newest opponent than he had his last. He was careful not to show off any of his moves, but Isaka held no such reservations. By the time that Sanosuke and Isaka had made it to the finals Sanosuke had a good idea of what Isaka's fighting style was like. 


	7. What's Wrong With Childish Tricks?

What's Wrong With Childish Tricks?  
  
"Sanosuke!" Kaoru sounded worried.  
Sanosuke turned to face her. "What is it, Kaoru?"  
"That guy seems strong," Kaoru said, stepping closer to Sanosuke. "Be careful against him, okay?"  
"Be careful? Me?" Sanosuke laughed. "Not a chance."  
"I'm serious, Sanosuke!" Kaoru grabbed onto his arm.  
His first instinct was to fling her off him and demand why the hell she cared. His second was to hug her and tell her that he'd be fine. His third was to punch himself in the face for thinking the second. "I'm not going to be careful, Kaoru," Sanosuke said with brittle cheerfulness. "I'm going into this fight with every intention of losing. When I see him start to punch, I'm going to stand there and take it full in the face." His smile dripped sarcasm.  
Kaoru's eyes widened and she looked away. Suddenly Sanosuke felt like a monster.   
"Kaoru," he said, hesitantly placing his hand on top of hers, "That guy's not Saito. He's not going to hurt me."  
"You and Yahiko are all I have," Kaoru tightened her grip on his arm.   
"I'm going to win, Kaoru," Sanosuke tugged his arm loose as gently as he could. "You don't need to worry about me." He didn't look back at her as he walked to the ring.  
Isaka smiled when Sanosuke reached him. "Your lover?" he inquired, tilting his head toward Kaoru.   
"Only a friend, not that it's your concern," Sanosuke said icily.  
"Pretty thing. I'd hate to lose in front of one that beautiful. It'll make you look bad, and not only will you lose face, you'll lose any chance you have of getting her in bed," Isaka drawled.  
"How dare you speak of her like that?!" Sanosuke hissed, not trusting himself to speak any louder. "I'll make you pay for that."  
The judge lowered the flag signalling that the fight could begin.  
"You can try," Isaka sneered and attacked.  
The punch was to Sanosuke's face. Sanosuke ducked it, stepped inside Isaka's guard, and plowed both his fists into Isaka's stomach. His knuckles slammed into Isaka's stomach muscles so hard that Sanosuke could have sworn he heard a ringing sound. "How'd you like that?" Sanosuke growled.  
"I hope you don't call that a punch," Isaka said calmly, stepping back, looking unfazed.  
Sanosuke narrowed his eyes. "That was a tap. Nothing more," he bluffed, putting his arms behind the small of his back as though he was standing casually on the street. Behind his back, Sanosuke flexed his hands. He had punched Isaka seriously, as hard as he could, and only succeeded in bruising his own knuckles! Maybe this guy really had been in the Shinsengumi. . .   
"Good. I was afraid you'd be just another worm whose guts I had to get on my shoes," Isaka charged again.  
Isaka wasn't very fast. Sanosuke dodged to the side, knelt slightly, and tried an elbow strike to Isaka's gut. Again, he hit Isaka hard enough to bruise himself and make his own ears ring, but not hard enough to faze Isaka. What was this guy made of?! Sanosuke's last attack had been hard enough to stun his own arm!  
"Was that another tap?" Isaka snickered. "Or was that your best shot."  
Sanosuke answered with his fist, back handing Isaka's ugly face. Isaka's head snapped to the side hard and blood dripped from his mouth. The fool must have bit his own tongue or lip.  
"Not bad," Isaka spat a mouthful of blood onto the ground. "Not bad, but not good either."  
Sanosuke's sharp eyes didn't miss the pain tears in Isaka's eyes. His punch had hurt Isaka more than the bastard cared to admit. "Of course it wasn't good. That was a tap as well. As is this!" He drew one fist back slow enough for Isaka to see what he was doing, then rammed his right knee into Isaka's stomach as Isaka blocked in front of his face.  
Pain exploded in Sanosuke's knee the instant it made contact with Isaka's stomach. Isaka took advantage of Sanosuke's hesitation to grab Sanosuke by the throat and start trying to choke him.  
"Sanosuke!" Kaoru screamed from the sidelines.  
Gods above, did that woman always have to worry about every little choke hold? Sanosuke flung Isaka off of him and put his right foot back on the ground. But Sanosuke found that his right leg would not support his weight very well. It looked like he'd have to fight the rest of this match under-balanced. "Aw well," Sanosuke muttered to himself. "It's not as bad as a sword-tip shoved through my shoulder. This guy's no Saito."  
"A childish trick!" Isaka announced, storming back over to Sanosuke.  
"A slight push," Sanosuke corrected, bending his right leg and crossing it so his toes on that leg touched the ground just behind his left foot. "One that made me think that you had sprouted wings for a moment- then you hit the ground in an unceremonious heap and destroyed my illusions."  
"Illusions? You mean hallucinations because of lack of air. That choke hold-"  
"Didn't do a thing," Sanosuke cracked his knuckles. "If you don't believe me, just attack again."  
"Don't mind if I do!" Isaka roared and ran full speed at Sanosuke. When Isaka was nearly on top of him, Sanosuke hopped out of the way and stuck his right foot out in Isaka's path. Isaka tripped and ended up on the ground again.  
"Please, make yourself comfortable," Sanosuke grinned mercilessly. "I have the feeling you'll be down there quite a bit in this fight."  
"Another stupid trick," Isaka jumped back up. "I'm the only one who has an advantage here- your leg is useless. Don't think I haven't noticed you balancing only on your left foot!"  
"I don't give a damn what you notice and what you don't," Sanosuke said honestly.  
"You will when you're eating dust!" Isaka walked up to Sanosuke, having learned that he'd end up on the ground if he ran. Isaka had gotten a little smarter it seemed. He threw a punch which Sanosuke blocked, but at the same time executed a leg sweet. Sanosuke saw the ploy and tried to hop back but it was too late. He had a split second to decide whether he'd stumble and risk spraining an ankle or causing further injury to his right leg to stay on his feet, or to land on his back and try to roll away before Isaka could attack again. Sanosuke chose the latter, but was winded momentarily when he hit the ground. Isaka roared again and grabbed his throat. Sanosuke caught the larger man's arms and push kicked Isaka off of him with his leg leg. Once again, he heard a ringing sound. Then Sanosuke understood.  
Sanosuke began to laugh as he got to his feet. His laughter made him wobble a bit on his one foot, but he regained his balance and continued to laugh.  
"What's so funny?" Isaka demanded.  
"Come here and I'll show you," Sanosuke dared his foe.  
Isaka began walking toward Sanosuke again. Sanosuke got tired of waiting when Isaka was within six feet of him, so he darted forward, grabbed the front of Isaka's shirt, fell on his uninjured knee then used his momentum to get back to hit feet, ripping Isaka's shirt from his chest to reveal an iron breast plate covering Isaka's entire front.  
"A childish trick," Sanosuke announced loudly over the murmer of the crowd.   
"Damn you!" Isaka sprang forward. Sanosuke flung Isaka's ripped shirt over Isaka's head to temporarily blind him, then stepped forward to rip the breastplate off his foe and slam one of its edges into Isaka's flabby stomach half as hard as he could.  
Sanosuke had to jump back quickly to avoid being vomitted on. "This is getting boring," Sanosuke said coldly, half walking, half hobbling to Isaka's side. When Isaka finished throwing up, Sanosuke grabbed him by his hair and hauled him up. "I claim victory," he told his opponent and plowed his fist into Isaka's stomach. When Sanosuke releaved his foe Isaka slumped to the ground, knocked out. 


	8. What's Wrong With A Draw?

What's Wrong With A Draw?  
  
When Sanosuke stepped out of the ring, Kaoru resisted the urge to hug him as hard as she could. She doubted that the ex-gangster would appreciate it. He stumbled as she approached him, and had to catch her shoulder for balance. Kaoru nodded to him, moved so that she was directly against his right side and patted him on the back. "Well done," was all she dared to say- as it was, Kaoru was afraid that simply touching Sanosuke was too sentimental for him.  
Sanosuke smiled down at her and put an arm around her shoulders. Only someone paying very close attention would know that he was using her for support. "When does Yahiko sword fight?" Sanosuke wanted to know.  
"In a few minutes," Kaoru answered, guiding Sanosuke through the crowd to an unoccupied bench.   
"I want to watch the kid," Sanosuke told her.  
"I'm not stopping you," Kaoru replied. "We have time to sit for a bit before he fights, so take advantage of it. You've been standing ever since you got here this morning."  
Sanosuke obeyed and sighed.  
"That Isaka guy sure was a cheater," Kaoru commented, sitting down beside her friend. "I guess he learned his lesson fighting you."  
"I should have caught on to his trick sooner," Sanosuke narrowed his eyes. "I heard the clang of my knuckles against metal the first time I punched him, but thought that the sound was in my head."  
"That breast plate looked like it was two inches thick. If it was pressed up against his skin-"  
"His flab," Sanosuke corrected.  
Kaoru waved a hand to acknowledge the correction, smiling, "the vibrations of the metal would have decreased drastically."  
"That's no excuse for me," Sanosuke sighed. "Kaoru, there's something I need to talk with you about."  
"I'm listening," Kaoru told him.  
Sanosuke stared off into space for a moment, then turned his intense gaze back on her. "I didn't mean to be late this morning. I-"  
"Don't worry about it, Sanosuke. You got here in time, that's what matters," Kaoru said quickly. She didn't feel like another argument with Sanosuke right now.   
"But the reason I was late-" Sanosuke tried again.  
"It doesn't matter, Sanosuke," Kaoru told him. "Forget about it- oh, Yahiko's up." She turned to Sanosuke and offered him a hand. He stared at her with wide eyes, looking like he was about to say something else, then apparently changed his mind. He ignored her and and stood on his own, but draped his arm around her shoulders again.  
Kaoru and Sanosuke elbowed their way through the crowd to watch Yahiko's kendo match. This competition went much the same way Yahiko's last one had. His opponents were weaklings and clutzes who fell over their own feet and didn't land a blow on Yahiko. Kaoru cheered her apprentice on until he took first place in his division then did some rapid calculations in her head.  
"Sanosuke!" She said suddenly.  
"What's wrong?" he asked sharply.  
"Nothing's wrong! Something might be great," Kaoru grinned up at him. "The school whose competitor takes first place in a contest gets three points, second gets two and third gets one. So far the Kamiya Dojo has taken first places in seven events. That means we have twenty-one points!"  
"I CAN do simple multiplication you know," Sanosuke looked insulted.  
"That puts us in first place!" Kaoru told him. "There's only one other school that's close to us, with nineteen points and no one else with more. If I win my sword fighting division the best any other school can do is tie with us!"  
Sanosuke made a face. "It's better to lose than to tie."  
"No it's not," Kaoru snapped. "Why are you always such a pessimist?"  
"You learn more from a loss than a draw," Sanosuke stated.   
"They're called my division," Kaoru carefully peeled Sanosuke's arm off from around her shoulders. "My division is fairly large so you might want to go sit down-"  
"I don't," Sanosuke said simply. "Good luck Kaoru."  
"Thanks, Sanosuke," she said as she began to walk off.  
"Win," he ordered her. Kaoru smiled at that but didn't turn around.  
  
Sanosuke watched her go then walked over to the wall where the scores were kept posted, taking care not to hobble. Kaoru's calculations were correct, he saw, but that didn't make Sanosuke happy. What made him even less happy was that he saw that a competitor from the school which rivaled Kaoru's was entered in her division and another in the adult kendo competition. If the guy in Kaoru's division took second and the guy in the adult division took first the scores would be tied. Sanosuke did not want that. Kaoru and Yahiko had worked too hard for this tournament for it to end in a draw.  
Scowling, Sanosuke added his name to the list of competitors in the adult kendo competition. There was no way he was letting some hot shot from another school walk off with Kaoru's victory- not while he could stand.  
"Sanosuke, Kaoru's getting ready to fight," Yahiko was suddenly behind him. "What are you doing?"  
"Nothing," Sanosuke responded quickly. "Let's go watch Kaoru."  
Kaoru's competition, like Yahiko's, was a deja vu of her sparring matchest. Since all the swords used had to be wooden, Kaoru was at an advantage, used to the weight and grip of hers. She won first place again, defeating the youth from her rival school in the final match.  
"Good job," Sanosuke told her when she walked proudly over to him and Yahiko.   
"Thanks," Kaoru smiled at her friends.  
Sanosuke felt strange looking at Kaoru's beautiful smile, as though there was something wrong with his stomach.  
"The best that the Shinojima Dojo can do is tie with us now. We've restored honor to the Kamiya Dojo!" Her smile was infectious, but Sanosuke had the feeling that it would not last long, considering what he had to ask.  
"Kaoru? I need a favor," Sanosuke told her. He paused and Kaoru looked up at him curiously. "I need to borrow your sharpened stick." He gestured to her wooden sword.  
"What for?" Kaoru asked sharply.  
"For the next competition," Sanosuke said, looking skyward instead of at Kaoru.  
"You're fighting again today?!" Kaoru demanded, grabbing the front folds of his jacket and yanking him down to her level.  
"Um, yeah. So can I borrow your sharpened stick?" Sanosuke asked again.  
"That's what you were doing over at the score boards!" Yahiko exclaimed. "You were signing up for the next event!"  
"You just signed up for it?!" Kaoru screamed in Sanosuke's face. "Right after you hurt your leg?!"  
"There's nothing wrong with my leg," Sanosuke said stiffly. "Can I borrow your sword or not, woman?"  
"Why?"  
"Why what?"  
"Why did you sign up to fight again after you injured your leg?" Kaoru asked.  
"There's nothing wrong with my leg, Kaoru," Sanosuke growled.  
"Liar," Kaoru held her wooden sword out to Sanosuke but turned her face away. "Don't come crying to me if you mess yourself up."  
"I'm not going to mess anything up," Sanosuke snapped. "I'm going to with- and I'm going to do it for your school."  
  
Sanosuke was true to his word. He went in to the adult kendo division and routed all his opponents. Kaoru wondered if she had known Sanosuke even knew how to use a normal sized sword before he went in and laid waste to his foes. But Sanosuke did know how to use a standard sized sword and knew how to use it well. The Kamiya Dojo claimed victory. 


	9. What's Wrong With Following?

What's Wrong With Following?  
  
"I need to talk to you, Kaoru," Sanosuke said as soon as they got home from the tournament.  
"About what?" Kaoru asked, sitting down on the pourch.  
Sanosuke sat down a few feet away from her and sighed. "Don't try to sneak off, Yahiko, this may concern you as well."  
Yahiko, who'd been trying to do just that, made a face at Sanosuke and started to take a seat between Kaoru and Sanosuke. He paused suddenly, realizing that that might not be the smartest thing to do, and chose another seat, behind Kaoru.  
"I tried to tell you this at the tournament," Sanosuke said, staring off into the distance rather than at Kaoru and Yahiko.   
"If this is about you being late, I already told you it doesn't matter anymore," Kaoru told him.   
"It does matter," Sanosuke told her. "But for a different reason." He fished a letter out of his pocket and held it out to Kaoru. "I received this letter this morning. It's from my ex-master Tetsuko Miratomo who lives in a village two weeks away from Tokyo."  
"Tetsuko?" Kaoru asked incredulously, the letter slipping from her fingers. "Your master was a woman?"  
"She's dying," Sanosuke didn't seem to have heard Kaoru's comment. "And she wants me to come to her before she dies. And I want to go to her."  
"You're LEAVING?" Kaoru demanded, her voice cracking with surprise and distress.  
"I want to go to her," Sanosuke told Kaoru, "But I don't want to leave you and Yahiko behind. Come with me?"  
"You're leaving," Kaoru repeated, staring at her hands. "You're leaving just like Kenshin."  
"Not just like Kenshin," Sanosuke argued. "I want you and Yahiko to come with me. Will you?"  
"No!" Kaoru snapped, snatching up Sanosuke's letter and throwing it at him. "I'm not leaving the Kamiya Dojo unattended for a month or more! How dare you ask me to?!"  
"Kaoru-" Yahiko tried to get a word in.  
"If I didn't pick up and leave when Kenshin left, what makes you think I'm going to pack and follow you?!" Kaoru glared at Sanosuke.  
He glared right back at her, "I thought maybe the fact that you were invited would make some sort of a difference."  
"Well it doesn't!" Kaoru snapped.   
"Alright then," Sanosuke said, struggling to stay calm. He picked up his letter, flattened it out carefully, then refolded it.  
"What do you mean 'alright then'?" Kaoru demanded.  
"I mean it's alright," Sanosuke returned his letter to his pocket.  
"You're going anyway," Kaoru said, sounding miserable.  
"No."  
Kaoru almost fell over. "No? What do you mean 'no'?"  
Sanosuke stared off into space again. "You don't want me to go, do you?"  
"Of course I don't want you to go!"  
"Well I'm not going," Sanosuke said gloomily, "so you don't need to be so angry."  
"Why aren't you going?!" Yahiko and Kaoru shouted together.  
"Because I'm not going to leave you two here by yourselves!" Sanosuke yelled back at them. "I didn't follow Kenshin to Kyoto so that I could make sure you would be okay, Kaoru! I'm not going away now that you're finally feeling better and risk you relapsing into self pity!"  
"But your master is dying!" Yahiko said shrilly.  
"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?!" Sanosuke slapped his open palms to his forehead.  
"How can you justify sticking around here while your master is dying?!" Kaoru wanted to know.  
"I justify it by knowing that my friends need me here!" Sanosuke snapped.  
"You can't just stay here while your master is dying if she sent for you!" Kaoru screamed.  
"So you want me to go or not?!" Sanosuke demanded.  
"Of course you have to go!" Kaoru told him.  
"I'm not leaving you and Yahiko alone here. After we kicked ass at that tournament you might get some dangerous challengers. I'm going to be here if you have to face them."  
"Well we can face them in a month or more!" Kaoru told him. "We're going to see your master!"  
"I thought you didn't want to-"  
"DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO RESCIND THAT INVITATION!" Karou warned him.  
"We're going to Momijin Village then?" Sanosuke asked Kaoru. "All three of us?"  
"All three of us," Kaoru told him.  
"Tomorrow?"  
"Tomorrow." 


	10. What's Wrong With A Little Rain?

What's Wrong With A Little Rain?  
  
"This is why I hate traveling!" Kaoru announced.  
"Huh?" Sanosuke turned to look back at her.  
"Once again we're caught on the road in the middle of a rain storm! We're half a day from the nearest village if we turn around and a whole day from the next village if we keep going forward! We're getting soaked and we're going to stay soaked like we've been all week. Dry clothes are a day dream, being warm is a fantasy, and-"  
"It's just a little rain," Sanosuke gave her an amused look. "What's wrong with a little rain?"  
"A little rain?!" Kaoru demanded. "A LITTLE rain?"  
"It's barely sprinkling," Sanosuke grinned. In truth it was raining so hard that Sanosuke's spiky hair was plastered against his head. His clothes were so soaked that they clung to his body like a second skin, and he had to wipe his forhead constantly to keep the water dripping from his headband from getting into his eyes. If only the rain would wash that annoying smile off his face. . .  
"Barely sprinkling," Kaoru repeated, making a face. "And the roads are so muddy that we sink knee deep because of those sprinkles!"  
"Isn't it wonderful?" Yahiko's smile was just as annoying as Sanosuke's.  
"No it's not wonderful! It's disgusting! I can't believe I insisted that we go on this trip!" Kaoru carefully picked her way across the road, around deep mud puddles.   
"I always knew you were crazy as well as ugly," Yahiko teased.  
"I am not ugly!" Kaoru shouted at her student and slipped. A strong hand caught her by the back of her kimono only an instant before her face hit the mud, and pulled her back to her feet.  
"Sanosuke, what did you do that for?!" Yahiko demanded. "She was this close to looking like a mud pie!" He pinched his thumb and index finger close together.  
"Thank you Sanosuke," Kaoru glared at Yahiko and kicked up muddy water at him.  
"Hey! You stupid ugly!" Yahiko kicked water back at her. Kaoru dodged aside just in time, but Sanosuke was not so lucky.  
"Hey!" he growled, staring at his pants. From the knees down they were soaked with muddy water.   
"Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, grass is free!" Yahiko sang. "And Kaoru's ugly!"  
Both Kaoru and Sanosuke kicked water at Yahiko. "Who're you calling ugly?!" Kaoru screamed.  
"Ugly, ugly ugly! Hey!" Yahiko's chant was interrupted when Sanosuke unceremoniously clamped a handful of mud in Yahiko's hair.  
"Hay is for horses, straw is cheaper, grass is free, but mud is more abundant," Sanosuke ruffled Yahiko's hair, spreading the mud in it.  
"Damn you!" Yahiko pulled some of the mud from his hair and made to slap it on Sanosuke's shirt.  
"Watch your language!" Kaoru grabbed Yahiko from behind while Sanosuke got out of the way (His leg still bothered him a little, though he wouldn't admit). As soon as Sanosuke was out of the danger zone, Kaoru shoved her student and jumped clear of him, herself.  
"You ugly!" Yahiko kicked at the ground again, this time sending mud Kaoru's way instead of just muddy water. It soaked the front of Kaoru's kimono.  
"YOU!" Kaoru charged at Yahiko. Yahiko ran and Kaoru followed. Then one moment he was running straight for Sanosuke, then next her darted to the side. Kaoru tried to mimic his movement, but her sandles slid in the slick mud and she found herself unable to stop. She collided with Sanosuke, her arms canceling her momentum against Sanosuke's chest and her face stopping just against his throat. She could feel his chin resting against the top of her head, his heart beating underneath her hands, and something else inside herself, something that Kaoru couldn't begin to describe. It felt. . . right. 'I fit just under his chin,' Kaoru realized, not moving a muscle. 'It's a perfect fit. . .'  
"Kaoru? Are you okay?" Sanosuke asked, putting one of his hands on her shoulder- but he didn't step away.  
"I'm alright," Kaoru told him. 'More right than I've felt since Kenshin left.' When she spoke her lips brushed against Sanosuke's throat so gently that she doubted he could have told the difference between that soft touch and her breathing. She didn't want to step away.  
"You sure?" Sanosuke put his other hand on her other shoulder.  
"Yes." Her lips brushed against his flesh again. His skin was so cold.  
"Of course she's alright!" Yahiko scoffed. "All she did was run into you! It can't have hurt anymore than running into a wall would have!"  
"It's not running into a wall that stuns you," Sanosuke told Yahiko. He still hadn't moved away. "It's the shock that comes a split second afterward."  
"Well it's been more than a split second and the shock should have worn off if there was any!" the boy jeered.  
"There was shock," Kaoru said, still not moving.  
"Oh come on! You didn't even run into him that hard! You're not hurt, stop being a baby, ugly!"  
Kaoru found that she really did not want to move away. But if she didn't, Yahiko, and maybe Sanosuke, would start to get ideas. So Kaoru stepped back and turned around slowly, trying to school her features into a look of serenity. She needn't have bothered. Yahiko hurled a handful of mud into her face. "YAHIKO!"  
"Now you're really ugly!" Yahiko howed with laughter and started to run again.  
"Oh you BETTER run!" Kaoru wiped the worst of the mud away with her sleeve and took off after her apprentice again. She vaguely noticed that Sanosuke hadn't move at all, but didn't let herself think about what that might mean. Instead she focused only on exacting reveange from Yahiko. When she got through with him. . .  
"Ugly! Ugly! Raccoon girl!"   
"That's IT!" Kaoru sprang and tackled Yahiko. He went down face forward in the mud, Kaoru on top of him, using him as a shield from the worst of the muck. "Take that, oh infidelic and disrespectful student of mine!"  
"Damn you, ugly!"  
"What have I told you about your language?!" Kaoru pressed Yahiko's face into the mud. "Now your mouth is truly dirty! Not enjoying it now, huh?"  
Yahiko managed to roll out from under Kaoru and jump onto her back. "Take this, ugly!"  
"I am NOT ugly!"   
"Says you!"  
By this time they were both covered in mud. Figuring that they couldn't get any muddier if they tried, the two continued to wrestle for some time, exchanging insults, as Sanosuke looked on, amused.  
"I heard a foreigner telling a story once about a woman so ugly she turned whoever looked at her into stone! That story must have been based off you!"  
"You wouldn't know beauty if it bit you!"  
"You better not bite me! I mean it!"  
"Don't tempt me!"  
"I mean it! If you bite me I'll-"  
"You'll what?"  
"I'll- I'll-"  
"This is all wonderful and everything, but the rain has stopped, so you two should change clothes so we can start travelling again," Sanosuke finally had to interrupt them.  
"Are you changing too, Sano?" Yahiko asked, glancing at Kaoru a mischievous gleam in his eyes.  
"I don't need to," Sanosuke said, not suspecting a thing. "The only thing muddy I'm wearing is these pants, and all the dirt if from the knees down. If I put on a clean pair they'll just get dirty in the same place again."  
Kaoru caught Yahiko's eye and nodded. At the same instant the both rammed into Sanosuke's legs, knocking them out from under him. Sanosuke fell forward but managed to throw out his arms before he hit the ground, catching himself on his palms as though he was doing a push up.  
"Nice try," he told them.  
Yahiko slapped a handful of mud into Sanosuke's hair. "But this is even nicer."  
Sanosuke shot Yahiko a glare. "You little-"  
Kaoru laughed as Sanosuke began chasing Yahiko around, much the way she had been a few minutes ago. "I changed my mind Sanosuke," she called to her friend. "There's nothing wrong with a little rain after all!" 


	11. What's Wrong With Sunny Days?

What's Wrong With Sunny Days?  
  
When Sanosuke, Kaoru, and Yahiko reached Momijin village several days later it wasn't raining anymore. But it wasn't bright and sunny either, thank the gods.   
"Small village," Yahiko said as they entered.  
"It's not even on the maps," Sanosuke told him. "It's existed less than ten years and was founded when my master and some of her buddies got tired of living a life on the streets of Tokyo."  
"Is you master the founder?" Yahiko asked.  
"No."  
"He husband?"  
"She killed him before she left Tokyo."  
"Who is the founder then?"  
"I don't know. Does it matter?" He swung his bag down to his side so that it didn't obstruct anyone's view of the character on his back. Some of the people here knew him only by the wicked 'Aku' character that he wore, and he wanted to be recognized now.  
"Sanosuke!" a girl around his age with long black hair hanging loose ran up to Sanosuke and flung herself on him.  
"Mitsuko," Sanosuke detatched himself from her as quickly as he could. "Hello."  
"I'm so glad you're back," beautiful Mitsuko gushed, grabbing onto his hand. "Master Miratomo has gotten worse. We were all worried that you wouldn't make it back in time."  
"I'm here now," Sanosuke told her. "Where is she?"  
"At Old Lady Kiku's place," Mitsuko wrapped one hand around his forearm and the other around his bicep. "It's so good to have you back-"  
Sanosuke slipped his arm easily from her grasp. "I'm going to see her now," he told Mitsuko, apathetically. "Come with me," he said to Kaoru and Yahiko.  
"Of course I'll come with you," Mitsuko reached out for his forearm again. Damn that girl! Sanosuke glanced back, then grabbed Yahiko and thrust him into the space between himself and the woman who kept trying to put her lily pale, uncallused, lazy hands on him. "Who are these people, Sanosuke?" Mitsuko asked. She didn't look at Yahiko who was right beside her, but to the other side of Sanosuke where Kaoru was standing.  
"Friends," Sanosuke told Mitsuko. "Very good friends."  
"Ah," Mitsuko stared coldly at Kaoru the whole way to the run down house that Sanosuke led his friends to.  
Sanosuke rapped loudly three times on the frame of the sliding doors, then opened it and stepped right on in. "Kiku? Master?"  
A hunched over old lady appeared, leaning on a cane. She smiled when she saw Sanosuke and beckoned him to follow her. "We were starting to worry that you wouldn't make it in time, Zanza," she told him.  
"You should have more faith in me, Kiku," Sanosuke told the old woman. "How is she doing?"  
"Not good I'm afraid," Kiku said sadly. "There's no doubt that she's dying. If she's gone tomorrow I wouldn't be surprised. But it'll do her good to see her prized pupil in such good health- and company." Kiku brightened and beckoned to the travelers again. "You don't need to come, Mitsuko. I'm sure you have other things to do. I'll take care of Zanza and his companions."  
"Oh, it really wouldn't be any trouble-" Mitsuko started.  
"Get lost," Kiku snapped, her eyes narrowing. Mitsuko hurried from the house. "This way," Kiku said, smiling at Sanosuke, looking once more like a kind, frail old woman. She led them to a side room that was dimly lit. There was a rolled out bed on the floor where someone was laying. "Go on," Kiku told them.  
"Do you want to see her alone, Sanosuke?" Kaoru asked. Sanosuke nodded. "We'll wait right here then."  
Sanosuke went into the room. "Master?" he asked softly as he approached her bed.  
"Sanosuke?" Tetsuko Miratomo asked weakly. Her voice sounded hoarse. Not a good sign- but Sanosuke had known that his master wasn't in good condition before he made the trip.   
"I'm here, Master," he said, sitting down beside her and frowning. He didn't like seeing his master like this. Even though she had been old and gray haired as long as he'd known her, he remembered her as being strong and lively, not sick and bed ridden. She was the only other person that he knew of who could use a zanbato- hell, she had taught him how to use the damn thing. Seeing his master like this-  
"Stop looking at me like that, damn you," Tetsuko spat.  
Sanosuke had to smile at that. "Still as sweet as always, I see."  
"I'm determined to be a nasty, mean spirited bitch until the day I die," Tetsuko told him, her voice raspy. "It looks as though I don't have much longer to go- and don't start protesting that that's not true!"  
"I wasn't going to, old woman," Sanosuke told her.  
"And don't call me old, you impudent scamp!" Tetsuko snapped.  
"But you are an old woman," Sanosuke teased, knowing that she'd like it better if he treated her like he always had rather than acting like she was a breath away from dying.  
"And you're a young man now," Tetsuko grinned up at Sanosuke. She had bad teeth, but they only added to her character. "You should be married. I believe I heard a young woman speaking outside my door- one who wasn't that lily-livered, pampered brat child whose been wanting to jump your bones since you were twelve."  
"You did," Sanosuke smiled. "Her name is Kaoru Kamiya."  
"Your wife?" Tetsuko's eyes gleamed.  
"A friend," Sanosuke said.  
"You lover," Tetsuko corrected.  
"No, only a friend."  
"But a good friend," Tetsuko persisted.  
Sanosuke nodded. "We are good friends."  
"I see," Tetsuko grinned mercilessly. "You two must name your first daughter after me."  
"Master," Sanosuke slapped one hand to his forehead. "We're not that kind of friends."  
"Why not? Is she ugly?" Tetsuko asked.  
"No."  
"Is she a wus?"  
"Definately not."  
"Are her teeth as rotted as mine are?"  
"Nope."  
"Ah, I see," Tetsuko shook her head slowly, her joints creaking as she did so. "So that's why you don't like her."  
"Master. . ." It was Sanosuke's turn to shake his head.  
"Bring her on in. I want to get a look at my star student's fiance before I die."  
"She's not my fiance," Sanosuke said seriously. "She's in love with another man." Sanosuke frowned as he said this and felt a tightness in the back of his throat. Why? It wasn't as if he was in love with Kaoru as well. She was Kenshin's woman- Kenshin's woman who he'd left behind, but still Kenshin's woman. And Kenshin was a buddy. Sanosuke never looked at his buddies' women and wasn't going to start now.  
"Did this other man journey with you?" Tetsuko asked, sharply.  
"No-"  
"Well where is he then?!" she demanded.  
"He's gone to Kyoto," Sanosuke responded.  
"Without his woman? Is he mad then?"  
"Not mad," Sanosuke said. "He had important business to attend to. It would have been dangerous if she had gone with him, so he left her behind."  
"And you've been taking care of her?" Tetsuko's smirk was of pure mischief.  
"Don't start thinking along those lines, old woman," Sanosuke warned his master. "You'll bust a blood vessel."  
"I would see this woman," Tetsuko decided. "Summon her in, Zanza."  
"Master!"  
"Now," Tetsuko ordered.  
Sanosuke stood and walked to the door to get Kaoru and Yahiko. He brought them both into the room. "Kaoru, Yahiko, this is my master, Tetsuko Miratomo. Master, these are my friends Kaoru Kashin and Yahiko Miyojin." Kaoru and Yahiko bowed low to show their respect.  
"I see," Tetsuko looked at Yahiko for a moment. "Miyojin, you say? I've heard of samurai with that name."  
"My ancestors," Yahiko told her.   
"I see. And you, girl, are a friend of Zanza's?"  
"Yes," Kaoru responded, glancing at Sanosuke a little oddly.   
"He needs a wife you know," Tetsuko told Kaoru. Sanosuke scowled at his master. "He's around the right age to be settling down and marrying, and raise himself a Zanza junior. I'd like to see him at least engaged before I pass on."  
"Master," Sanosuke said through grated teeth as Kaoru blushed.  
"Master Miratomo," Kaoru said, all seriousness, "if you pass on before Sanosuke finds himself a fiance, I promise you that I will make sure he finds himself a good wife in your stead."  
Oh well done, Kaoru, Sanosuke thought, grinning.  
Tetsuko laughed and shook her head. "I like you, girl," the old woman chuckled. "If you ever want to marry my little Zanza here, you have my blessings. If not, any woman you approve of for him has my blessings as well. You hear that, Zanza? When I'm gone you are to ask this girl here permission to marry."  
Sanosuke rolled his eyes.  
"Don't roll your eyes at me, boy!" Tetsuko roared. "I'm serious! How else will I die with peace of mind? I have to know that the punk-child who's been like a son to me will be married to a nice girl."  
"I hear you, Master," Sanosuke said.  
"Good. Now all three of you get out. I want to get some sleep."  
The three didn't dare disobey the old woman's orders.   
"Your master is an interesting woman," Kaoru told Sanosuke once they were on the street once more.  
"Not quite what you expected, huh?" Sanosuke grinned wryly.  
"She's as crazy as you are, Sano," Yahiko remarked.  
"I'll take that as a compliment directed toward both of us," Sanosuke said, voice sharp.  
"Whatever floats your boat," Yahiko said with a shrug.   
"Who's that girl who met us when we first got here?" Kaoru asked.   
"Yeah, the one who was hanging all over you?" Yahiko snickered.  
"That was Mitsuko," Sanosuke scowled at the reminder.  
"But who is she?" Kaoru persisted.  
"Who is she to you?" Yahiko added.  
"She's an annoying little wench whose greatest aspiration in this life is to be a whore," Sanosuke spat.   
"You don't like her," Kaoru said. It wasn't a question.  
"The girl can't work. She let her looks go to her head and won't do anything that might raise calluses on her whimpy hands."  
"But she likes you," Kaoru stated.  
"She might," Sanosuke admitted. "Then again, she might just think I have money and that I'd pay to get with a slut like her, though she'd be wrong."  
Kaoru seemed to relax at that. Why? Sanosuke wondered, then decided that Kaoru was probably just worried that he'd be a bad influence on Yahiko.  
"Come on," Sanosuke told his friends. "We can stay at my master's house. She won't mind if we're there."  
  
Sanosuke went back to Kiku's place that night to sit up with his master that night. Kaoru knew that he planned to stay the whole night with her, but some time after midnight, she woke up and heard his unmistakable heavy steps on the mats. Guessing what this meant, Kaoru got out of bed and went into the front room where she found Sanosuke pacing.  
"Sanosuke?" Kaoru asked softly.  
Sanosuke stopped pacing but didn't turn toward Kaoru. "She's dead," he said, his voice even softer than Kaoru's.  
"I'm sorry," Kaoru took a few steps forward.  
"Don't be. It was her time."  
"Are you alright?" She had to ask.  
"Of course," Sanosuke's voice cracked and he turned his back to Kaoru.   
Kaoru thought she knew why. "It's very dark in here," she told Sanosuke.  
He turned toward her again and knelt on the mats. Kaoru walked slowly over to him and saw a glint of wetness on his face. She knew better than to say anything about it, however, or even pretend that she saw it. "When I was about eight, I ran away from home to join the Sekihotai under Sozo Sagara. I don't remember my father- well I can just see his face in my mind if I try hard enough, but it's always like I see him shadowed. Do you know what I mean?"  
"I do," Kaoru knelt beside him, close enough to be company, but not too close to make Sanosuke uncomfortable.  
"I remember my mother more, but still not very well. It seems that I respected Sagara more than my parents because I ran away to fight with him," Sanosuke laughed bitterly. "I don't even remember my real surname.  
"When the Sekihotai was massacred, I tried to save Sagara. He'd been shot and could barely move. The few other men who'd escaped with us sacraficed their lives to give me the chance to save Sagara. We reached this ledge that dropped into a river. . ."  
Kaoru had heard this story before, but a watered down version of it that wouldn't give Suzume nightmares. She remained silent as Sanosuke retold his tale to her.  
"Sagara told me to leave him and run. He knew that I wasn't the one that the government was after. I was just a kid after all. But I tried to stay with Sagara. He wouldn't let me stay with him. He picked me up, even though he was bleeding from half a dozen bullet wounds, and threw me off the cliff. I saw him get shot as I fell.  
"Tetsuko found me suffering from hypothermia the next day. It was in the middle of winter, and I had been dunked in the water then laying on the river bank half the night. She took me to the city and helped me recover," Sanosuke smiled vaguely at the meamory. "She wouldn't let me sink in self pity. She always told me that if I started to fall in that well, she'd drag me out by my hair. I hated her for it at first- this annoying old bat who as constantly badgering me, insulting me, and yelling at me. All I wanted to do was curl up and die. Tetsuko wouldn't let me. She made me so mad. . . But she made me better. It wasn't long at all before I was able to get up and do the things I'd always done. But there was still all this anger inside of me." Sanosuke sighed. "Tetsuko was into gangs at that time, and as her student I got involved in gangs too. I didn't indulge in the cold blooded murder that most gangsters did. I remembered my Sekihotai training, which had ground a lot of principles into my head- protecting the weak, upholding justice, and so on. Not exactly the kind of stuff you expect from a gangster, huh?"  
"I guess not," Kaoru agreed.  
"I got into a lot of fights though- fighting helped me forget my anger. Tetsuko and some of the other people in her gang taught me to fist fight- street fighting's probably a better term for it. But Tetsuko taught me to use the zanbato-"  
"Tetsuko taught you the zanbato?!" Kaoru demanded incredulously.  
"You wouldn't think that a woman would be able to pick up something that heavy, let alone swing it around like a ribbon, would you?" Sanosuke's smile was tainted with saddness. "But now she's gone."  
"She wouldn't want you moping around," Kaoru told Sanosuke.  
"I know," Sanosuke responded. "So I'm not going to. But. . . nevermind."  
Kaoru leaned over and lightly touched Sanosuke's shoulder. "I'm here if you need me," Kaoru said softly.  
They sat in silence for a long time after that. Kaoru wondered if Sanosuke had fallen asleep- she knew that she was getting ready to do so herself. The sun had just started to rise and Kaoru was starting to nod off when she heard Sanosuke speak again. "Look's like it's going to be another gloomy day," he said.  
"It does," Kaoru agreed, sleepily.  
"Thank the gods," Sanosuke muttered.  
"Huh? You don't want it to be a nice day?"  
"I can't stand nice days when someone I care about has just passed on," Sanosuke told her. "It's better that it's gloomy and the weather reflects what I feel inside but don't want to let show."  
"I see," Kaoru rubbed her eyes and sat up straigher. "My father once told me that we have gloomy days so that we can appreciate the sunny ones."  
Sanosuke considered what she said for a moment. "I'll look forward to sunny days then," he told her at last. "But for this bad day, at least, I'm glad that the weather's not bright and sunny." 


	12. What's Wrong With Cursing Ex-Students To...

What's Wrong With Cursing Ex-Students To Hell?  
  
A little more than two weeks later, Sanosuke, Kaoru, and Yahiko arrived back at the Kamiya Dojo to find things exactly as they had left them.  
"Megumi did a good job of watching over our school," Kaoru said, tossing her bag down. "Ah, it's good to be home."  
"It is good to be back," Sanosuke agreed, picking up Kaoru's bag and following her as she walked into the dojo.  
"No kidding!" Yahiko laughed. "I never thought I'd be so glad to see this run down place."  
"Run down?!" Kaoru demanded.   
"Well it is run down!" Yahiko shot back.  
"It is not!"  
"Is TOO"  
"Is NOT!"  
"Is TOO!"  
"Hey Kaoru, look at these," Sanosuke had found a small stack of papers on her records table.  
"What?" Kaoru came over to look. "Messages left by possible students. Akira Fumiyo requests apprenticeship at this school. Akira Fumiyo. . . why does that name sound familier. Oh! Now I remeber!" Kaoru snatched the paper from Sanosuke's hands, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it across the room. "He was the first of my students to quit when that Gohei moron started killing people and claiming he was the Battosai who studied at this school!"  
"I take it he's not welcome back, huh?" Yahiko said with a superior smirk on his face.  
"Ha! The day I welcome him back is the day Sanosuke gives up fighting!"  
"And that is never going to happen," Sanosuke told them. "I don't care if rivers start flowing uphill, farm animals start flying, that bastard Saito becomes the next Buddha, or the flaming hell of Shintoism gets cold enough for the souls there to have a snow ball fight."  
"So Akira Fumiyo is never going to be welcomed back!" Kaoru picked up another piece of paper. "Totsuri Akakawa wants to learn here. Never heard of him. He sure never trained here before. I'll consider him. Yukiko Ideta, another of my dear ex-students!" Kaoru balled up the paper and threw it in the same direction that Fumiyo's had gone. "She can go to hell. Atsuko Komichi. She can go to hell too! Goro Tananka! The fourth of my ex-students to leave, the fourth to have his application throw across the dojo which he will never again set foot in!"  
"You're enjoying this," Sanosuke remarked.  
"There's nothing wrong with that," Kaoru scowled at him.  
"I never said there was." Sanosuke smiled as Kaoru began digging through her stack of papers again, saving only the applications of people who she'd never heard of before, to consider. "You're going to start training Ayame soon, aren't you?" he asked.  
"I was going to let Dr. Gensai know we were back and start training her tomorrow. Why?" Kaoru looked up from her stack of papers.  
"Just wondering. You know Suzume really would like to train with her sister. Those two do everything together."  
"Suzume is too young," Kaoru told him. "Ayame's old enough to start grasping the principles and actually understanding them. To Suzume they'd be something pointless that she'd have to meamorize without knowing why. Besides, those two will have to learn to start acting on their own eventually. They're not always going to be allowed to stick together."  
"Which is why they should be together while they can," Sanosuke argued.  
Kaoru shook her head. "Suzume's too young. I'll start training her the day she turns five, but not before."  
Sanosuke sighed. Well, he'd tried. Now it looked llike he'd have to take Suzume's training into his own hands.  
  
"A very important part of martial arts is stamina," Sanosuke told Suzume. "Do you know what stamina is?"  
"Nope!" Suzume said cheerfully. "What izzit?"  
It was the day after Sanosuke, Kaoru, and Yahiko had gotten back from their trip. Kaoru had taken Ayame to start her training at the Kamiya Dojo. Sanosuke had taken Suzume out 'to play' with permission from her grandfather, under the excuse that he didn't want her to feel bad. He knew that he wouldn't be able to 'play' with Suzume every day- Kaoru would either catch on or start thinking that Sanosuke was a nice guy or something- so he had to teach Suzume something uncomplicated and harmless so she could practice at home when Ayame was at the dojo.  
"Stamina is the ability to fight with someone and continue to fight for a long time, while the person you fight gets tired." There. That definition should be dumbed down enough for the kid.   
"Ahhhh," Suzume grabbed her pigtails and turned them so the loose ends stuck upward. "Will it make my hair spiky like yours?"  
Sanosuke could only stare at the child for a moment. "No. My spiky hair has absoulely nothing to do with my stamina, I assure you."  
"Ahhhh."  
Cute kid. Dumb, but cute.  
"You need stamina if you ever want to be a good fighter. So what we're going to work on is your stamina."  
"How do we do that?" Suzume wanted to know. She spoke around four of her fingers that she had stuck in her mouth.   
"Well, first we'll make you a good runner," Sanosuke told her, pulling her hand our of her mouth. "Running will build up your stamina."  
"I can run already!" Suzume protested.  
"I know you can run. But do you know how long you can run?"  
"Until I get to where I'm going!" Suzume answered, still cheerful.  
"And if the place where you're going is far away?" Sanosuke asked, trying to keep the harshness out of her voice. Suzume couldn't help that she was young and stupid. "You might have to run for a whole hour someday to get where you need to go in the amount of time that you have to get there. Do you think you could do that?"  
Suzume only stared at him with wide eyes.  
"The training that I'm going to give you will help you be able to do that someday," Sanosuke told her. "Are you ready to start?"  
  
Sanosuke usually made time to see Suzume once a week. Training her cut into his own training, but kept Suzume from feeling as though she was beind left behind by Ayame. Sanosuke would have cut into his own training time even more to keep that from happening, if he had to. But he didn't.  
Suzume learned how to pace herself when she ran so she wouldn't burn up all her energy in the first few minutes. It took her some time to learn that she could run longer if she didn't run as fast as she could, as young children like to do, but she eventually did learn it. After she finally figured that out, she became a very good runner. Summer turned into fall and Sanosuke had Suzume run while carrying a rock the size of her palm in each hand.  
The Kamiya Dojo became busy once again, full of new students. In the end, Kaoru allowed three of her old students to return- the three who had stuck with her the longest. Of course those three got a great deal of punishment exercises everyday for nearly everything. Sanosuke got used to the sight of the three younder teenages doing push ups every time he went to Kaoru's dojo.  
Yahiko was Kaoru's only student that actually lived in the dojo with her. The others had homes in other parts of the city and came either for the class Kaoru gave in the morning, or the class she gave in the afternoon. Yahiko was the only one who attended both classes every day and kept his place as Kaoru's star pupil easily. Sanosuke watched his young friend's skills increase greatly as the weather got cold.  
Kaoru was getting stronger too, Sanosuke noticed. He wondered how much stronger he himself had gotten since Kenshin left for Kyoto in May, but had no real way of knowing. There were no really tough guys in Tokyo, no one he could beat on without feeling guilty about abusing a weakling. If only that bastard Saito were around, Sanosuke could test his strength on that ugly whore son. Or if Kenshin was around. . . but if Kenshin hadn't left, Sanosuke doubted he would have forced himself to find an intense way of training that would increase his strength so much.  
Sanosuke wondered where Kenshin was, and what was going on in Kyoto. Surely Kenshin had reached Kyoto by now. Had he turned into the Battosai again? Or would he come back to the Kamiya Dojo once that Shishio guy had been killed? Then there was that Aoshi guy to consider, as well as Saito. Had Kenshin killed either of them in one of his Battosai mood swings? Sanosuke didn't know if he hoped Kenshin had or not. They were both tough guys who Sanosuke would like another shot at fighting.  
The weather grew colder and winter came- Sanosuke's least favorite season of the year. Whenever snow flurries fell from the sky, he was reminded of the night the Sekihotai was destroyed by the thrice-damned imperialist government pigs. Sometimes Sanosuke wondered if another of his comrades had managed to survive the massacre. There had been a lot of soldiers in the Sekihotai. A number of them, Sanosuke included, had managed to escape into the woods. There was a chance that another warrior had survived and run away instead of trying to save Captain Sagara's life- but if there was such a warrior, Sanosuke didn't think he wanted to meet the coward.  
  
In Kyoto. . . (Remember that Sanosuke's, Kaoru's, and Yahiko's choice to stay behind altered the course of the anime, making what happened in the original anime void)  
  
Kenshin walked through the streets of Kyoto aimlessly. Shishio had been defeated. It had taken him, Aoshi, Saito, and even Misao all to stand together against him, and in the end, they'd only won because Shishio had spontaneously combusted. But Shishio was dead and that was all that really mattered.  
"No," Kenshin thought out loud, though no one was there to listen to him. "His death is not all that matters, that it is not." He hadn't had to kill with his sword again. Hadn't turned into the Battosai once more. He was still Kenshin Himura the wanderer, but he wasn't sure if he had any place to go. He wanted to return to Tokyo, to the Kamiya Dojo, but he wasn't sure if he was welcome there again.  
"Talking to yourself again, Battosai?" a voice said from nearby.  
If Kenshin hadn't recognized the voice, the smell of the newcomer's cigarette would have given his identity away. "What do you want, Saito?" he asked.  
"A cigarette, a bowl of soba, and a good fight." Apparently Saito was in good humor today.  
"Was the fight which we recently finished not good enough?" Kenshin wanted to know. "It was enough excitement for me for a long time, that it was."  
"Is that why you're loitering around Kyoto instead of heading back to the road then?" Saito all but sneered. "I thought you intended to return to your life as a wanderer."  
"That I do," Kenshin told him.  
"Hmph. Bet you didn't do much wandering after you got to Tokyo either," Saito exhaled a cloud of smoke. "Tell me, Battosai, is it the big cities that you like or the comapny you keep in them?"  
"I have not stayed in Kyoto because of you, Aoshi, or Misao," Kenshin frowned at Saito.  
"But you stayed in Tokyo so long because- the hell?" Saito's cigarette fell to the ground and his eyes widened momentarily. They quickly narrowed once more and Saito gave a short, harsh laugh.  
"What is it?" Kenshin followed Saito's gaze down the nearly empty street to where a tall, dark haired man in black pants and a black surcoat had just walked out of a run down, little known tavern. He wore a red head band and blazoned on the back of his jacket in white was the familiar symbol for 'Bad'.  
"I guess your friends got tired of waiting," Saito snickered. "Though your fool friend seems to have changed his colors."  
Kenshin ignored Saito and began to run after the man he believed was his friend Sanosuke. "Sano!" he called. The man didn't break his stride. "Sanosuke! Sanosuke!" At that name the man paused for a just the slightest moment, but then began walking again. "Sanosuke Sagara!" Kenshin shouted, confused.   
The man froze, then slowly turned around. Kenshin, less than twenty feet from the man, now saw his mistake. This man was not Sanosuke. The only physical features he had in common with Sanosuke were dark hair and height.  
"I appologize, sir," Kenshin bowed slightly to the man. "I mistook you for one of my friends, that I did."  
"You know a Sanosuke Sagara" the man said more than asked, his eyes narrowed at Kenshin.   
"Yes I do," Kenshin told him. "He is tall like you and has dark hair. That is why I mistook you for him."  
"Hmph. I doubt your Sanosuke Sagara would wear the symbol on his back that I wear on mine," the man started to turn away.  
"He does," Kenshin said promptly.  
"Careful what you say to this guy, Himura," Saito said softly from behind Kenshin. "He doesn't seem like the safe type. You might endanger your fool friend by blabbing about him."  
The man turned back to face Kenshin, and Kenshin could see what Saito meant. The man looked dangerous. His face contorted in a scowl of rage and his hands clenched into fists that shook. "Your Sanosuke Sagara- is he about nineteen or twenty years of age?"  
Kenshin nodded slowly.  
"He wears a red headband?"  
Kenshin nodded again.  
"He has horrible looking scars between his lower ribs and hips, particularly on his right side?" The man's breathing was now sporadic. Kenshin couldn't tell if the guy was getting ready to attack him or pass out.  
"I do not know. He weared bandages wrapped around his stomach and ribs all the time, that he does," Kenshin hoped that he wasn't going to get his friend into some kind of trouble- if he did, Kenshin resolved to hurry back to Tokyo and help Sanosuke out of whatever trouble he got into because of Kenshin.  
"And this Sanosuke Sagara. . . has he ever spoken to you of. . . traumatic events that happened to him at the age of nine or so?" the man asked, staring at Kenshin in a way that could only be described as dangerously.  
"Careful, Battosai," Saito warned Kenshin again.  
"He has," Kenshin said quietly.  
"He was a survivor of the Sekihotai," the man continued to glare at Kenshin.  
"You shouldn't answer that question. There are still bounties on Sekihotai heads," Saito commented.  
"Like me," the man had seen confirmation on Kenshin's face.  
"You know Sanosuke then," Kenshin relaxed a little bit- but only a little. Whoever this ex-Sekihotai soldier was, he was mentally unstable.  
"Of course I know Sanosuke Sagara, though I had no idea he survived the Sekihotai massacre," the man gave a cold smile. "Sanosuke Sagara," he paused a moment, then continued, "is my little brother."  
"And you are?" Kenshin was unconvinced.  
"My name is Sozo Sagara." 


	13. What's Wrong With This Picture?

What's Wrong With This Picture?  
  
"I hate snow." Sanosuke punched the tree and spun away as it fell. "I hate snow." Another tree was brought to its knees by Sanosuke's fist. "I hate snow!" Sanosuke threw a punch at a third tree but stopped his fist a centimeter before his fist connected. The tree fell anyway, though he hadn't touched it. Sanosuke smiled despite the snow that was floating down into the clearing that he had just created. He was getting much better.  
"Impressive, Sanosuke," Kaoru said from behind him.  
Sanosuke turned to face her. "I didn't hear you come up."  
"I'm not surprised. Between the chorus of 'I hate snow's and the splintering of wood, it was probably hard to hear anything else." Kaoru's smile lit up the gray afternoon.  
"Shouldn't you be teaching classes at your dojo?" Sanosuke asked her.  
"Yahiko's teaching for me this afternoon. I needed to get out."  
"So you came looking for me?" Sanosuke leaned against an undamaged tree. "I'm touched."  
"Why are you coming out here to train again?" Kaoru wanted to know. "I thought we agreed you would train at the my dojo."  
"You came looking for me because you were worried?" Sanosuke teased. "I knew you cared!"  
"Make no mistake, Sanosuke, I don't care. I'm just curious."  
"You mean nosy," Sanosuke muttered.  
"What's that?!"  
"Nothing."  
"You said something!"  
"I said nothing!"  
"Fine. But what are you doing out here? If you hate snow, why train in it?" Kaoru crossed her arms.  
"I wanted to see how much stronger I've gotten since May," Sanosuke told her, stepping away from his tree and walking toward her. "The only way I saw to do that was to revert back to my old way of training for a day and see if it's gotten any easier."  
"And has it?" Kaoru asked.  
"Much easier," Sanosuke assured her.   
"Are you coming back to the dojo now?"  
"Yeah, that seems like a good idea. It will get us out of the damned snow."  
"Why don't you like snow?" Kaoru asked as they began walking down the path back to the city. "I've always loved it. It's beautiful and makes the trees look as if they've been frosted with crystals."  
"It was snowing the night that the Sekihotai was destroyed," Sanosuke told her. It didn't hurt to talk about the destruction of the Sekihotai so much anymore. In fact, it was good to have someone to talk to about it, someone who both cared and acted like they cared. Master Tetsuko had never acted like she cared to keep Sanosuke from drowning in pity. "It's a meamory that's hard to forget. Besides, snow is so cold. It forms in drifts in the streets, then when it's set for awhile it freezes to all the other damn snowflakes so you've got a solid block of snow in front of your doorstep."  
"It is cold," Kaoru agreed, shivering. "But I still like the way it makes things pretty."  
Sanosuke looked down at Kaoru and could see what she meant. Many large snowflakes had fallen in her hair where they hung like diamonds, catching what little light the sun managed to get to earth and glinting in rainbow colors. Her eyes were brighter though, Sanosuke noted. He also noted that she shivered again. "You're cold," he told her. It wasn't a question.  
"A little. I'll be fine until we get back to the dojo," Kaoru's teeth chattered.  
Sanosuke sighed and removed his surcoat. "Put this on, Missy."  
"You idiot! Put your jacket back on! You don't even have a shirt on, Sanosuke!"  
"No, you put it on," Sanosuke insisted. "You're cold."  
"And you'll freeze!" Kaoru would not take the offered coat from his hand. "All you've got to cover your torso is those bandages! You need more than that. Put your jacket on."  
"You," Sanosuke held the jacket closer to Kaoru.  
"No, you!" Kaoru pushed his hand away.   
An amused smile flashed over Sanosuke's face. "I'm not putting it back on, woman. Either you're going to wear it back to your home or I'm going to carry it all the way there."  
"That's not funny, Sano! Put your jacket on. You'll get sick!" Kaoru slapped his hand away again as he held the coat out to her.  
"I'm not putting it back on, woman. You might as well."  
"Sanosuke, be sensible," Kaoru begged.  
"I am being sensible. You're cold, so you should put it on. I'm not cold, so I don't need it. Put the jacket on, Kaoru," he told her.  
"You have to be cold, Sanosuke," Kaoru protested.  
"But I'm not. Put it on, Kaoru."  
Kaoru turned away and began walking faster. Sanosuke took two quick steps to catch up with her, then wrapped his jacket around her shoulders. "Sanosuke!"  
"Wear it, Missy," he told her. "I don't need it and I'm not putting it back on. If you don't wear it back to your dojo, neither of us will."  
Kaoru gave in and slipped her hands through the sleeves. "If you get sick then don't come crying to me," Kaoru warned him.  
"I won't," Sanosuke assured her. He looked down at her for a moment and frowned. Then he took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. When Kaoru didn't shrug him off, his frown evaporated the way he wished that the snow would.  
"New Year's Day is coming up soon," Kaoru told him.  
"I know," Sanosuke said.  
"I'm going to throw a party at my school, and you're invited," Kaoru raised one of her hands and wrapper her fingers around Sanosuke's.  
"I've never celebrated New Year's Day before," Sanosuke said.  
"What?"  
"Well I might have when I was a kid, before I ran away from home, but I don't remember," Sanosuke ammended.  
"You'll have a good time at my party," Kaoru assured her friend. "New Years is a time for family, and even if you're not one of my students, you're part of the Kamiya family."  
"I'm touched," Sanosuke grinned at Kaoru.  
Kaoru punched Sanosuke in the side. "Don't be sarcastic you oaf! I'm trying to be nice."  
"Sorry!" Sanosuke raised both hands with their palms toward Kaoru in a gesture of surrender. "I know you're being nice, I'm just not the sentimental kind of guy!"  
Kaoru calmed down and sighed. "I know. I wouldn't want you to be, anyway."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanosuke demanded.  
"If you weren't arrogant, egotistical, and cool, you wouldn't be the Sanosuke who's become a member of the Kamiya family," Kaoru responded.  
"Don't arrogant and egotistical mean the same thing?" Sanosuke wondered out loud. "Oh, you forgot good looking by the way."  
"I didn't forget anything," Kaoru teased.  
"Now who's being mean?" Sanosuke muttered, falling in step beside Kaoru again.  
The two walked back to the Kamiya dojo quickly since the weather was getting colder. Kaoru tried twice to get Sanosuke to put back on his jacket, and was unsuccessful both times. It was obvious to her that Sanosuke was getting cold, but he wouldn't admit it. It was with no small amount of relief that Kaoru returned his jacket to him when they entered the dojo.  
"Sano!" Yahiko shouted, darting out of the dojo, "Sanosuke, there's someone here asking for you!"  
"Huh?" Sanosuke raised one eyebrow as he shrugged back on his surcoat.  
"A guy came here awhile ago, before the afternoon class ended. He said he was told that he could find Sanosuke Sagara, ex-member of the Sekihotai at this school."  
"What does he want? Do you know?"  
"So far he's only said that he wants to see you," Yahiko's eyes were wide with excitement.  
"What aren't you telling me, Yahiko?" Sanosuke wanted to know as he followed Yahiko inside.  
"The man asking for you wears a black coat, cut simalar to yours. He wears the symbol for 'Bad' or 'Wicked' on his back, just like you," Yahiko opened the door to the dojo. "And he wears a red headband, just like yours."  
Sanosuke started to shout 'WHAT?!' but the door to the dojo was open and his visitor was visible, though his back was to Sanosuke. The Bad symbol was sewn onto his jacket in white and he did indeed wear a Sekihotai headband. Could he be another survivor of the Sekihotai massacre? Sanosuke wondered wildly.   
He walked ahead of Kaoru and Yahiko, motioning for them to stay back. Sanosuke purposely made sure his footsteps were heavy on the floorboards so his guest would know he was approaching. The man didn't turn around, however, though he had to have heard. Sanosuke considered what he could say to the man who might have been one of his former comrades. "I'm Sanosuke Sagara," he announced finally, after waiting a moment to see if the man standing before him would turn around. "I've been told you were asking for me, though I do not know if we have met before. You are. . ?"  
"Sanosuke Sagara," the man mused, rather than answer. "You took the last name Sagara after all, even though I told you that name sounded too weird."  
That voice.  
Sanosuke nearly choked. He would have sworn that his heart had stopped beating in his chest, but he could feel the blood pulsing and burning at his temples. It couldn't be. There was no way. . .  
The man turned around and Sanosuke found himself staring at a face that was familiar, but into eyes that were completely alien.   
Sanosuke felt like his own eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. "C-Captain Sagara." 


	14. What's Wrong With You?!

What's Wrong With You?!  
  
"C-Captain Sagara," Sanosuke whispered. He knew his mouth was hanging open but he didn't care. For a long, long moment he could only stare at his old mentor and friend, the man he had idolized even more than his own father. "I thought you were dead," Sanosuke said finally, taking deep breaths. "I saw your head on a stake."  
"It wasn't mine, obviously," Sozo Sagara smiled. His smile was as cold as his eyes, not the way Sanosuke remembered it being. "I managed to survive- as you did, I see. I wasn't sure if you had or not. I didn't realize it at the time, but throwing you into that river in the middle of the winter should have given you hypothermia and frozen you to death." The smile didn't leave Sozo's face. That bothered Sanosuke more than a little.  
"A kind woman saved me," Sanosuke told his old friend. "How did you survive?"  
"I struck a deal with the government official who fired the last shot you saw me take," Sozo answered, still looking amused. "We came to an agreement since the Sekihotai was destroyed and since the government knew me to be a good officer."  
"You struck a deal with those filthy pigs?" Sanosuke asked incredulously.  
"It was make a deal with them or die," Sozo's grin widened. "Those who lose but get away live to fight another day."  
Sanosuke could barely contain his shock. Captain Sagara wasn't acting at all how he remembered him. The Captain Sagara that Sanosuke knew would have died before doing anything which would exploit the deaths of his comrades or exploit the weak in any way- as the Imperialist government was so obviously doing.  
"What are you doing now that the revolution's over?" Sanosuke wanted to know.  
"Traveling from place to place, taking in the sights of every city I come to, killing imperialist government officials when the opportunity presents itself."  
Sanosuke choked.  
"I was in a city far to the west of this one about a month ago. Someone saw my back and mistook me for you. He started calling your given name, Sanosuke. I didn't pay much attention until he added my surname to it. Sanosuke Sagara is a weird sounding name, and because it is so familiar, it demanded my attention. I'm not mad that you took my last name by the way. In truth, I am honored. You always were like a little brother to me, so I suppose it's only fitting.  
"I told the man who knew you that you were my younger brother so he would be more fourthcoming with his information. I hope you don't mind, but even if you do, there's not much we can do about it now," Sagara gave a cold, crazy sounding laugh.  
"I don't mind," Sanosuke told his old friend. "It's an honor that you called me your younger brother. You saved my life many times."  
Sozo nodded. "The man I spoke to told me that you could be found in Tokyo at the Kamiya Dojo. He was hesitant to tell me even after I said we were brothers. I don't know why- perhaps because we don't look that much alike. His companion seemed very concerned about him telling me where to find you."  
"Does this man have a name?" Sanosuke asked, wondering who could have told Sozo where to find him.  
"I didn't ask," Sozo answered. "I didn't give a damn about him, past the information he had in reguards to you."  
I suppose I should feel flattered, Sanosuke thought, but for some strange reason I'm not. What's happened to Sagara? He's nothing like he was ten years ago!  
"You're the only other member of the Sekihotai who lived, you know," Sozo said offhandedly. "All the others were killed. Every last one of them. I had to do the head count so I know. The head count was literal by the way."  
Sanosuke closed his eyes and tried to will the horrible images out of his head.  
"When I found out that you were indeed alive, I was compelled to come looking for you. I could use some help with the jobs I do, if you're willing to come," Sozo grinned again. Sanosuke found his smile scary.  
"I don't know," Sanosuke said, frowning. He was about to ask what kind of jobs Sozo was talking about, but changed his mind. He had the feeling that he already knew, and he wanted no part in any killings.  
"Ah," Sozo smirked. "You have reservations about leaving this place, I see. Is that woman hovering by the door your wife? And the young boy her brother? He's too old to be your son."  
"She's not my wife," Sanosuke told his old mentor.   
"But she's something to you," Sozo remarked.  
"You're assuming quite a bit," Sanosuke said, trying not to glower.  
"There's nothing wrong with assuming if you assume correctly," Sagara remarked. "Besides, there would be ample time for you to hang around this run down school. You could work half the year and take the other half off. I'd return for you and we could go kill imperialist pigs together again."  
"You never taught me to kill imperialists, Sagara," Sanosuke said slowly. "You taught me to protect the weak."  
"You cannot protect the weak, Sanosuke. It's a lost cause, that. The weak cannot even protect themselves. They're nothing more than a flock of bleating sheep, incapable of thinking for themselves. They sop up whatever stories they're told. They truly believe that the Sekihotai was an evil faction, and no matter how many weaklings you and I correct, there will always be three more to take each one's place in believing that the imperialist government was just and that we were a bunch of renegades!  
"You know what I say is true- you wear the kanji for 'Wicked' on your back as well. What happened to the Sekihotai is something neither of us can ignore, and something neither of us can change! The only thing we can do is seek reveange on the ones responsible for ruining our lives!"  
"Was ten years not enough time to kill everyone directly involved in the massacre of our comrades?" Sanosuke asked, clenching his fists tight.  
"Only those directly involved and their families," Sozo smirked. "They, however, still have comrades with families who are in positions of power. I've been elliminating them and their corruption ever since I ran out of pigs who were directly responsible- and everyone who stood in my way, of course."  
"Whatever happened to creating a world where everyone was equal?" Sanosuke wanted to know.  
"That was an ideal I held when I was younger and foolish. I see now that such a world is impossible. There will always be weaklings who don't measure up and there will always be dogs at the top to oppress them!"  
"What's wrong with you?! We fought to get rid of the dogs at the top," Sanosuke reminded Sozo.  
"That was a long time ago, Sanosuke." The smile melted off Sozo's face and he walked slowly toward Sanosuke, crossing his arms over his chest. "All the people who fought with us to make everyone equal are dead. All of them. I saw each and every one of their bodies. I had to help cut and bag the heads, Sanosuke. All of them are dead and the ideal they fought for is dead as well!"  
"Not as long as there's someone to keep fighting for it!" Sanosuke shouted back.  
"It's dead! Just like them! There's nothing you can do to change it, Sanosuke! The only thing left for us to do is take reveange! Will you help me, Sanosuke? Will you help me make those imperialist pigs pay for what they did to our friends? Our family?"  
"They're all dead too, Sozo," Sanosuke said slowly. "You took care of that, didn't you?"  
"I told you, there are three more pigs to take each one's place!" Sozo snarled, grabbing Sanosuke by both shoulders and shaking him. Only the fact that Sozo had once been Sanosuke's greatest idol kept Sanosuke from pummelling him through the wall. "Our quest for reveange may never be complete but if we kill-"  
"No," Sanosuke told Sagara, staring into his former friend's crazed eyes. "I'm not going to help you kill innocent people."  
"Innocent? Innocent?! Innocent is what the Sekihotai was! Innocent is what our comrades were, what you and I were before those bastards ruined us!" Sozo shouted. "I'm offering you the chance to get reveange for your comrades, Sanosuke! Are you just going to throw it away like the stupid child you were ten years ago?!"  
"I don't need reveange," Sanosuke said softly, hoping he could reach his old friend. He opened his mouth to say something else but pain flared in his chest and he gasped instead.  
"SANOSUKE!!!" Kaoru and Yahiko shouted fromt the door where they had been trying to eavesdrop.   
Sanosuke stared at Sozo and his crazy eyes, then looked down at the short sword Sozo had thrust all the way through the right side of his chest.  
"Then I don't need you," Sozo gave Sanosuke a mad smile, braced a hand on Sanosuke's shoulder, and pulled his sword free of Sanosuke.  
Sanosuke was paralized. All he could to was stand rooted to the ground and stare at the man who had been like an older brother to him, who'd just put a sword between two of his ribs and driven it all the way out his back.  
"Does it hurt? Don't worry. That lung is filling up with blood as we speak. In a little bit you'll start drowning in it, just like if you had lung rot. Pity there's nothing you can do about it," Sozo leered at him.   
"Sanosuke!" Kaoru was at his side, clutching his arm.  
"You bastard!" Yahiko shouted, putting himself between Sanosuke and Sagara. "What the hell did you do that for?! I'll make you pay!"  
"Yahiko don't!" Sanosuke's paralysis passed. He pulled out of Kaoru's hold, picked up Yahiko by the back of his shirt, and tossed the boy back to Kaoru. "Sagara," he addressed his former friend, "You know perfectly well that wound won't kill me."  
"Oh?" Sozo's eyes glittered.  
Sanosuke grabbed a handful of the bandages he always wore around his lower torso and ripped them off, revealing a tapestry of scar tissue. "I lost that lung already, remember?"  
"Oh yes. Now I do. I removed it myself if I remember correctly," Sagara looked more like a lunatic than ever before. "Shall I remove the other one for you as well?"  
"You can try," Sanosuke growled, before he realized that he'd just challenged Captain Sagara.  
"Sanosuke don't!" Kaoru gasped behind him. "You're hurt! And he's dangerous!"  
"Let me get him for you, Sanosuke!" Yahiko ran forward with his kendo stick once more.  
"No!" Sanosuke flung out an arm, clothes-lining Yahiko down at the chest. "Stay back, Yahiko."  
Sozo watched this exchange with a strange expression on his face. "Our fight need not involve a woman and a child," he said, contemptuosuly.  
"Child?!" Yahiko howled.  
"Shut up!" Kaoru snapped at her student.  
"You'll kill the families of government officials but you won't kill them?" Sanosuke was confused.  
"They're not your family," Sozo smirked. "Be glad you haven't gotten her pregnant yet." Sanosuke clenched his fists. "I will meet you tomorrow at dusk. There is a shrine on the road leading west from Tokyo, about five miles outside the city, with a clearing behind it. We will fight there, and you had better show, Sanosuke. You won't like what happens if I have to hunt you down."  
Sanosuke didn't answer. He merely stared at Sagara as his ex-captain walked swiftly from the dojo. 


	15. What's Wrong With A Little Insanity?

Hey! Sorry that I haven't been updating as much and that the chapters have been short lately Rembrandt77. I've been busy with school work- damned SOLs, all day vocational functions (thrice damned thing kept me at school from 8 am to 10pm one night!) and then the power went off. Exams are soon and the teachers are assigning as much homework as they can in the last two weeks we're stuck with them. I'll neglect some of it so I can write more instead, okay? Thanks for sticking with my story, Slrmoon- and Sano's not going to die. What, you think I'm a completely heartless bitch? (Well I am, but that's beside the point) Here's the next chapter like you, Rembrandt77, and Aya14 asked for. Hope you like it (though I doubt you will).  
  
@-- Rose C*est la V  
  
  
What's Wrong With A Little Insanity?  
  
"You're not going to fight him!" Kaoru snapped. "He's too dangerous."  
"He is too dangerous," Sanosuke agreed, "But that's why I have to fight him, Kaoru."  
"Who IS he?" Yahiko wanted to know. "I know he was in the Sekihotai, but was he some big shot or just another armed farmer?"  
Sanosuke closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. Kaoru had insisted on bandaging his wound, and Sanosuke had rewrapped his usual bandages around his ribs and stomach to hide his scars. "His name is Sozo Sagara. He was the leader of the Sekihotai. My captain."  
"Sagara?!" Yahiko demanded. "He's related to you?!"  
"No," Sanosuke opened his eyes but didn't really see out of them. "I ran away from home at so young an age that I couldn't remember my real last name. An hour before the Sekihotai was destroyed, Sozo and I were talking. He was repeating his speach to me about how someday everyone will be equal. I asked him if when everyone was equal if I could have a last name, and if I could take his. He told me that I shouldn't, since Sanosuke Sagara sounds weird. Then he died- or he didn't die but I thought he had. I took his name anyway."  
"What happened to him?" Kaoru asked softly.  
"I don't have a clue in hell," Sanosuke said, miserably. "He's nothing like he used to be- he used to be kind and wise, compassionate, strong, and above all else, sane. Now he's a completely different person. Gods, what must have happened to change him so drastically?"  
"He said he took out your lung," Yahiko reminded him. "Are you sure he was so sane back then?"  
Sanosuke smiled bitterly and shook his head. "It was about two years before the Sekihotai was destroyed when that happened. We ran into one of the Shogun's armies and had to fight our way through- not that I ever did much fighting. I was too little. One of our enemies came at Sagara from behind while he was fighting another. I, being young and believing I was invincible, kicked him in the shins. For some reason he took offense to that and ran me through with his spear. On the left side of my chest, of course. The spear must have been cheap because it splintered. One of the splintered ends got dragged across my stomach, which is why I have all those wonderful scars you just saw."  
"No wonder you keep them covered up. They're ugly," Yahiko commented. Kaoru smacked Yahiko in the back of his head. "OW! Just like you, you stupid ugly!"  
"The Sekihotai won the battle with minimal casualties. Only two dead, five slightly wounded, and me. The doctor told Sagara that I wouldn't live since my lung had been punctured and was filling up with blood. I should have drowned in it, but Sozo didn't give up on me. He didn't know what would happen if he cut the lung out, but he tried it anyway, hoping maybe you only need one to live. Turns out you do. Imagine that," Sanosuke continued speaking as though he couldn't hear Yahiko. "I was sick for a long time after that. Couldn't sit, couldn't stand, couldn't even talk. I wouldn't have eaten if Sozo hadn't forced soup down my throat. Everyone thought that I was going to die, but Sozo still refused to give up on me. He refused to even leave me with one of the families we encountered who promised they'd take care of me. He didn't trust them not to give up on me. Eventually, I got better. Everyone was surprised. I doubt even Sagara thought I'd live. But now. . ." Sanosuke's eyes were unfocused and he left the thought unfinished. Now he might have to kill Sagara.  
  
Kaoru tried to stop Sanosuke from leaving, of course. Sanosuke thought that he might have actually been disappointed if she hadn't. It was Kaoru's nature to worry, always had been. Sanosuke remembered the fuss she made each time Kenshin went up against anyone else. Thankfully she hadn't raised as much fuss for Sanosuke, and he'd even gotten her and Yahiko to promise to stay in the Kamiya Dojo until he returned. And if they kept that promise, it would be a miracle.  
Sanosuke arrived in the clearing right on time. Sozo Sagara didn't. After an hour he'd started to worry. What if Sozo had gone to the Kamiya Dojo to hurt Kaoru and Yahiko? Sozo had been a formidible swordsman during the revolution, but Sanosuke had absolutly no way to know how good he really had been. Sanosuke had been too young to view Sagara's skills without any bias. Sagara had been his hero, who Sanosuke had believed the best in the world. Because he'd been so young during the revolution, Sanosuke had no way of knowing if Sagara was really as good as he remembered him being.  
Another half hour crept by. Sanosuke paced to keep warm, but worry made him cold inside. He didn't believe that Sagara would attack a woman and a boy. Sozo had been too dead set against involving noncombatants in any kind of violence- yet he'd been doing it to the families of his victims. Sanosuke debated whether he should stay and wait longer or rush back to the dojo.  
A light flickered through the dark forest. Sanosuke frowned. "Sagara?" he called. There was no answer. "Sagara!" The light was moving away from him. Sanosuke swore. He wondered if it would be foolish to follow the light, but stopped wondering when he realized he was going to follow it anyway.  
The light was moving away much quicker now. Sanosuke ran after it as fast as he could, knocking a couple trees down in his haste. "Sagara!"  
The light disappeared.  
"Damn it!" Sanosuke ran on, blindly making his way to where he'd last seen the light. "Sagara!"  
Suddenly the ground dropped out from under Sanosuke. Sanosuke yelped and flung an arm out, grabbing onto the ground that he'd just been standing on. "Damn it again!"  
Light blazed suddenly and Sozo Sagara was standing over him. "My sentiments exactly. Unless you plan to change your mind about helping me exact reveange for our fallen comrades." He put his foot over Sanosuke's fingers, but didn't put any weight on them.  
"I haven't," Sanosuke growled, grabbing onto the ledge with his other hand. He could hear water rushing far below him. Damn.  
"Then it seems that I have no choice then but to kill you. How ironic that you'll now die exactly the way you almost did ten years ago." Sagara stomped down on Sanosuke's hand.  
Sanosuke growled and hung on tight with his other hand. Before Sozo knew what had happened, Sanosuke had swung himself back onto the ledge and swept Sozo's legs out from under him.  
"Damn you!" Sozo recovered quickly and lunged at Sanosuke. Sanosuke had grown faster than his old friend and rolled aside, springing to his feet as he completed his second roll. "You bastard!"  
"Better a bastard than insane!" Sanosuke snarled. He could have attacked Sozo then and perhaps flattened him before he got to his feet. But that would have been cheap. Sanosuke allowed his former mentor to stand.  
"What's wrong with a little insanity?" Sozo sneered back, drawling his sword that he'd hidden inside his coat.  
"Those things are illegal, you know," Sanosuke remarked of the sword.  
"Which is why I identify with them," Sozo ran his hand along his sword's finely temered blade. "The existance of this sword is illegal, much as my own existance is. Your existance too. The Sekihotai was supposed to have been completley destroyed, just like every sword not owned by a damned government official!" Sozo charged.  
Sanosuke stepped aside and caught Sozo's wrist, twisting it so Sagara released the sword. "You can't keep on killing people, Sozo. I can't allow that."  
"You can't stop me!" Sozo's other hand brought forth a tanto- the shortest of all traditional swords, hardly longer than a dagger, catching Sanosuke by surprise. He tried to jump back, but knew he was too late. The sword bit into the left side of his chest directly over his heart- then stopped.  
Sanosuke didn't stop backing up though. Once clear of the blade he blinked at Sozo. "You had me dead," he said grimly.  
Sozo shook his head. "You're fast. I'll have to make a note of that for the next time I try!" Sozo charged forward again, but couldn't catch Sanosuke off guard this time. Sanosuke back handed Sozo in the face, then lashed out at his wrist. The tanto went flying. "Damn."  
Sanosuke didn't press his advantage. He only stared at his old friend. "You could have killed me, Sagara. You could have put that blade straight through my heart."  
Sozo hissed. "You were too fast. Don't think I refrained from killing you because I care about you. I just didn't think you were quite so quick."  
"Liar," Sanosuke accused. Sozo's eyes flared up dangerously and he attacked again, this time with his bare hands.  
Sanosuke dodged and slapped Sozo away, surprised at Sozo's lack of skills. Had Sozo always been this. . . weak? Or was his old captain holding back? Sanosuke couldn't tell, but knew one thing for certain: If Sozo had really wanted to, he could have cut Sanosuke's heart out. What was Sozo playing at?  
"You've gotten stronger," Sozo growled, struggling to his feet again. "I underestimated you. For some reason I thought you were still the weak and foolish little boy who followed the Sekihotai like a puppy."  
"It's been ten years," Sanosuke responded, trying to keep his voice even. "A lot has changed, Sagara."  
"You have changed," Sagara agreed. "I have changed. It was the Sekihotai that changed us you know."  
"It was the Sekihotai's destruction that changed us," Sanosuke said softly.  
"Yes," Sagara grinned. "That night changed everything forever, you know. I was so happy that evening. I thought that my dream of a world where everyone was equal would soon be realized. I couldn't believe it when I found out that the government was using us as scapegoats. I couldn't believe that my troops were being shot to death. Couldn't believe that I had been shot."  
Snowflake drifted down from the sky as they had ten years ago, on a night very similar to the one that Sanosuke was trying to live through now. He knew he'd hate snow ever after because of this.  
"You were such a stubborn kid," Sozo muttered. "You tried to save me for all you were worth. If only you'd just run away like I'd told you to! Then maybe this wouldn't have happened!"  
"What?!" Sanosuke demanded. "What do you mean 'maybe this wouldn't have happened?' What happened to the Sekihotai was NOT MY FAULT and if I had run away, absouletley nothing would have changed!"  
"But it would have!" Sozo screamed at him. "I wouldn't have had to live ten years thinking that I had killed the boy who I considered MY LITTLE BROTHER!"  
"You didn't kill me!" Sanosuke shouted back.  
"I thought I had!" Sozo yelled. "Don't you get it?! I threw a seven year old boy off a cliff, into a river in the middle of the winter! It was a hell of a long way down and I didn't stop to think that the water might not be deep enough to keep you from breaking your neck! Any number of factors about my desperate attempt to save you could have killed you! Aside from a broken neck, the impact could have knocked you out and you could have drowned! Or you could have drowned simply because you couldn't swim or couldn't fight the current! Your body could have been dashed against any number of rocks, crippling and killing you! And if by some miracle you survived all of those, the cold should have frozen you to death! You can't get dunked in ice water on a night that cold and live! I THOUGHT THAT I HAD KILLED YOU, SANOSUKE!!! NO CHILD COULD HAVE SURVIVED THAT ORDEAL!!!"  
"But I did!" Sanosuke screamed at the top of his lungs when Sozo paused for a breath. "And I was about eight, not seven. I survived. You don't have to feel guilty about that anymore, Captain!"  
"Thinking your blood was on my hands was more than I could bear," Sagara said grimly. "That and having to cut the heads off every one of my men and bag them, then later put them on spikes. Then listening to all the weaklings badmouthing the Sekihotai, believing that we were wicked like the government told them. It broke me."  
Sanosuke fought against the lump forming in his throat. That would have broken anyone. Now he could see why Captain Sagara had gone mad. Having to put the heads of their friends on stakes. . .  
"I wanted reveange! I've been taking reveange! But now I'm tired of this life," Sagara glared at Sanosuke.  
"You never wanted to kill me," Sanosuke stated.  
Sagara gave a bitter laugh. "I wanted to force you to kill me."  
"I can't do that," Sanosuke said softly, realizing that what he said was the truth. He had come here tonight thinking he would kill Sozo. That he could kill Sozo. And he could have. Sozo had turned into a madman, prepared to slaughter the weak that he had once been so adamant about protecting. But now, after Sagara's confession, Sanosuke knew he couldn't kill his friend anymore. Listening to people call the Sekihotai evil for ten years had been a strain on Sanosuke as well as Sozo. But having to bear that after putting all his friends' heads on stakes had been too much for Sagara. Would have been too much for Sanosuke. And all that time, Sagara had been tormented by the fact that he had thrown the boy who had been like his little brother off a cliff to his death.  
"You always looked up to me, as a child," Sozo said suddenly.  
"I did," Sanosuke agreed. I still do, he thought, but didn't say aloud. If I had gone through what you did, I'd have turned out a hell of a lot worse.  
"I failed you as a role model," Sozo said, his voice growing softer. "I have no right to ask anything of you, but I'm going to anyway. Kill me, Sanosuke."  
"I can't," Sanosuke said flatly.  
"Kill me!"  
"I can't."  
"KILL ME!!!" The madness was back in Sozo's eyes.  
"I CAN'T!!!" Sanosuke screamed.  
Just as suddenly, Sozo's madness was gone. "I understand," he said, his voice even softer than before. Sozo Sagara turned, took two swift steps, and lept off the cliff.  
"NO!" Sanosuke howled, darting forward to grab ahold of his friend. Snow made the ground slick. Sanosuke slipped on it and suddenly found himself plummeting from the cliff, after Sagara.  
This fall was similar to Sanosuke's last one, ten years ago. Would the landing be as safe as the last one? Sanosuke was about to find out.  
The water rushed up at Sanosuke, seemingly faster than a slice of Kenshin's reverse blade sword. One heart beat Sanosuke was staring down at the flat surface of the river with wide eyes, then next it was shoved into his face, pressing on his eyes and making them sting. The water was deep, thank Buddha and all the gods of Shintoism. But by all the little hells, was it cold!  
Sanosuke surfaced quickly, and looked around for Sagara. His eyes hurt and his vision blurred. For a moment Sanosuke couldn't see. "Sagara? Sagara?!" His vision cleared and he saw Sozo floating nearbly, his face still in the water. Blinking rapidly in a vain attempt to see better, Sanosuke pulled himself through the frigid water toward his old friend and rolled him onto his back.. "Sagara?"  
Darker water dripped off of Sagara's forehead. Blood? Sanosuke tried to wipe it away with his hand, but froze as his fingers felt a crevice at the top of Sagara's head. His skull had been cracked open. . .  
"Sano?" Sagara blinked at him.  
"Captain," Sanosuke choked. "It's okay, I'm going to get you out of this water, then we're going to get a fire going-"  
"My. . . head."  
"It's just a little bruised-"  
"Bull shit," Sagara laughed and touched it. "It's split wide open. I hit it on a rock. And I'm dying."  
"No you're not!" Sanosuke shouted, holding his captain with one arm and using the other to pull them toward the nearest bank. "I won't let you, damn it!"  
"You can't stop it, Sanosuke," Sagara said, as Sanosuke drug them both onto the shore.  
"Damn it!" Sanosuke shouted, punching a rock and shattering it.  
"Damn, you have gotten strong," Sagara commented. "Sanosuke," he said then, urgently, his voice changing strangely.  
"Captain?"  
"I'm sorry."  
"No."  
"I am. Sorry for the innocents I killed and for bringing my madness into your life."  
"It's not your fault," Sanosuke said hoarsly. "It's mine. If I had never been born then you couldn't have thrown me off the cliff. My supposed death wouldn't have tormented you. If I had never been born-"  
"If you had never been born I would have been killed by that second spearman at that battle so many years ago. Remember it?" Sagara asked.  
"Yes. But you would have survived. He didn't kill me and I was a child. He wouldn't have killed you. It would have been better if I'd never been born!" Sanosuke choked. Grief was overwhelming him. He was losing his older brother again! "If you had never been born my life would have been so much bleaker," Sagara said, reaching up for Sanosuke. Sanosuke took his hand. "Many lives would have been much bleaker. If you had never been born, I would have lost my sanity so much sooner. There were some children I let live because of your meamory. If you had never been born I would have lost myself completely."  
"Captain Sagara," Sanosuke coughed to mask a sob. His eyes were burning terribly.  
"Good bye," Sagara sighed, his eyes going dim. There was no trace of madness in them anymore. "My. . . brother. . ." There was no trace of life in his eyes anymore.  
"Captain Sagara," Sanosuke moaned, shaking. "Brother. . ." He reached out with the hand that wasn't holding Sozo's and closed his friend's eyes. Then he knelt there for what seemed like the longest time, clenching his dead brother's hand and shaking. That was how Kaoru and Yahiko found him. 


End file.
